


The Grey Boy

by obiole



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Friends With Benefits, Grey world, Josh tries to convince Tyler they're soulmates, M/M, Smut, and so do josh and tyler, how did i miss that one, i have no excuse for smut, i haven't written any in over a year, josh and brendon are friends, joshler - Freeform, so I'm gonna try, so tw for cheating, they fuck, tyler tries to deny Josh is his soulmate, you know horny teens, you see colors when you meet your soulmate
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-16
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-26 11:33:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 40,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7572577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obiole/pseuds/obiole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in a world of grey, they saw colors in each other</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. summers winding down to an end

When Tyler was very young, his mother would tell him stories that were told to her when she was just as young as he, stories of how Tyler’s grandmother saw all the colors of the universe when she met Tyler’s grandfather. Tyler would ask what a ‘color’ was, and his mother was usually stumped for a minute, thinking of an answer that would wow the young boy, for she didn’t actually know, herself, what the colors looked like. All she and practically everyone else knew were the standard black and white with shade in between making up their bland view of life.

But the one thing she would always tell him with a gleaming grin, was that if Tyler ever saw any colors, then he’s met his soulmate. Tyler asked how she knew, but she told the boy nothing, just smiling and wishing him a good night’s sleep.

It’s all Tyler could think about. Soulmate. Would he ever find his? Did he weeb have a soulmate? As he got older, he didn’t think so. He’d always look at girls he’s never met before, half-expecting to see a completely different world upon eye contact. however, it never worked out that way. Still bland, still boring, still no color, still no soulmate.

So, when Tyler walked into school on a Thursday morning, he expected nothing less then what he faced. muffled voices in a see of blurred faces. the thin boy made his way to his locker on the other side of the main building, where his good friend Debby was already waiting.

Tyler liked Debby. She was pretty cool, he guessed. Not that she was a bad person or anything, Tyler was just quiet and kept to himself. He didn’t really understand why she stuck around. He thought it was just pity. And maybe it was. But she helped as best she could sometimes, when Tyler needed it most. That’s what he valued. But Debby couldn’t always be there, she wasn’t always there, she had so many friends of her own, she had plans and she had other people to look after, too. And he understood that. At least she was there sometimes.

“Mornin’, Ty.” She chirped as she leaned against the locker next to the tall boys own. 

“Hi.” He responded as he slipped off his back pack and pulled out his binder, shoving the backpack into the thin locker.

“So how'd tryouts go last night? think you're gonna make it?" she crossed her arms 

"Seeing as my father is the coach and I've played for the team for the past three years, I'd say I have no chance whatsoever." Debby laughed and nudged Tyler's arm.

"Wise-ass." she said while the two laughed, Tyler a little lighter than the perky girl. "Well I'm sure you did. Let me know, alright."

And with that, the second bell of three rang, signaling five minutes until first period, and Debby gave Tyler a friendly peck on his cheek, like she did with all of her friends, and was off to her first class with a goodbye. Tyler shut his own locker and made his way outside to the arts building, more than ready for his music class.

Tyler usually kept his head down when he walked, or at least kept his eyes low enough for him to be able to see where he's going and not bump in to anyone, avoiding confrontation at all costs.

The morning dew from the grass layered Ty's vans in coolness along with dampening his socks for a little while. he didn't like it but he couldn't necessarily do anything about it, except deal with it and get to class before Mr. Renolds started class.  
Tyler opened the door to the arts building, having to choose between taking the stairs or the elevator. He knew he should have taken the stairs to the third floor but he was honesty drained, still, from tryouts last night. You'd think his father might let up a little since he was his son and all but it was the complete opposite, he worked Tyler to the point where Tyler almost passed out on the court.  
So Tyler took the elevator up. There was only one other person who joined him in the elevator and asked for floor three, same as Tyler. The exhausted boy took a quick glance and saw something weird in the more muscular boy's hair. it wasn't grey or black or white but it was.. it was something he'd never seen before. Tyler couldn't believe his eyes, but he also couldn't take them off of the boys wavy hair.

"Hey!" The loud voice rang through Tyler's ears, startling him and causing him to hit his back against the chrome wall of the elevator. Tyler's eyes cautiously fell to the boys eyes, they were dark, had light highlights but mostly very rich. Tyler could have sworn that shades of black weren't the only color present in the boys eyes though.

"Wh-what was th-that?" Tyler's soft voice asked, but the other boy kept silent, his eyebrows drawn close together as he stared at Tyler. The boy on the opposite side of the elevator began liking everywhere, his eyes clearly shown fear and confusion. He peered out of the open door of the elevator and looked around quickly before looking back at Tyler.  
Tyler wasn't just confused pat this point, he was scared, terrified. What was this boy seeing? What was TYLER seeing?

A moment later, the seemingly shorter boy shook his head lightly, lifting his baseball cap and carding a hand through his hair, taking in and letting out a deep breath.

"It's ahh, nothin'. I mean, o-our floor. We're.. we're here.." He ducked his head down and allowed Tyler to walk out first, so he rushed out as fast as possible to his period class - which Tyler was sure he was late for by now? though he didn't hear the bell ring until a few seconds after he sat down on his chair.

The teacher began talking but Tyler was still uneasy about what all just happened. Who was that guy? Tyler was sure he'd ever seen him around before. Maybe he was a freshman?

It had only been not even two minutes into class when the teachers powerful voice sounded through the classroom. "Today we we were supposed to have a new student but it seems like he didn't want to-"  
Mr Renolds was cut off by the classroom for behind us opening and revealing the same guy who was in the elevator with Tyler.

Tyler quickly snapped his head forward, facing away from the guy and down to Tyler's own shoes, having a new found interest in his shoelaces all of a sudden.

"Oh, looks like he's decided to join us." Tyler's mind began racing, he caused the new student to be late, he's the reason the new guy might be embarrassed in front of everyone. He's the reason the boy might have a tough year starting it off by being late to class. He wanted to apologize, but after what happened - what Typer /saw/, Ty wasn't see if he could speak to the dude, let alone look at him again.

Mr Renolds spoke again, "Mind introducing yourself? Name, how long you've been at Raleigh High, why you're in this class."

The boy, however distraught in the elevator, was now cool and calm as he spoke with a cute grin.

/CUTE?/

'I'm not gay..' Tyler reminded himself a few times before listening in on the new boy.

"Well, uhm, my name is Josh Dun," Tyler's heart fluttered at the name. Why did it do that? It's just a name. But that wasn't all; at the introduction of the boys nam, whatever color of the chalkboard was visible but pale for a split second. Tyler looked away from Josh once again as the boy continued.  
"my father and I just moved to Cleveland, even though we only lived in the southern region of Ohio before, and I am in /this/ class because I've always had a thing for playing drums and trying out other instruments, so I guess I'm ready to learn whatever I can." He finished with a smile and small nod to the teacher, who began clapping and got the majority of the class clapping along with him. Josh mocked a bow and Tyler could have sworn his heart stopped for a second. Josh was so graceful in his movements, like he had planned every second of the class already, even Tyler's uneasiness, and Tyler practically confirmed his suspicions when Josh and him made eye contact. Tyler's eyes widened as they immediately found the floor again my

"Well, Josh, you can have a seat wherever there's a chair available." Tyler took a few glances around to see where exactly there were empty seats, not seeing any except one to Tyler's left. Ty felt his heart pound in his chest harder and harder as seconds went by before Josh took a seat in the chair next to the panicking boy.

"Okay, class, today we'll finally be using the private music rooms. pick an instrument, take it in a room and just jam out, have fun!" The class was slow to stand up and scan the room, half because they were tired and it first class, half because they couldn't give a shit about music class because they needed to take a filler class.  
Tyler couldn't let anyone know that he actually /wanted/ to take this class, that he was actually passionate about music. They'd make fun of him, they'd laugh and call him stuff, right? He didn't think he could deal with something like that.  
So Tyler took a deep breath, wiping his palms along his legs and looked around at everyone before standing (quite awkward & a stiffly) and scanning the room full of instruments around him.

"There's the other room across the hall with more instruments, the same as over here. Oh, and did I mention? You'll have the same instrument for a full quarter, and you'll be graded on your progress, and at the end of the quarter you'll have to perform a song of your choice, if you provide the appropriate note sheets."

Mr Renolds' words caused the class to stir faster, people rushing to get instruments. all the instruments were taken from this room that Tyler had an interest in, so, alone, he silently made his way out of the classroom and across the hall to the other room full of instruments. but there was one thing in this room that wasn't in the other room. A grand piano.   
The no longer nervous boy's heart fluttered at the sight of the magnificent instrument sat in front of him. there was a huge booth behind the piano, just wide enough to roll the piano in and getting right to playing without bothering anyone else.   
Tyler wasn't aware of when he had sat down at the bench that had been tucked under the piano, but he was, and his fingers lightly traced I've the keys, like seeing an old friend after years of complete silence.   
Then his ring finger pressed down and he was loose. his eyes fell shut dreamily as two more fingers pressed down on two more keys, creating more sounds that made Tyler feel so at home, so at peace. Soon Tyler was playing so fluently, without much care but with more than enough grace.

"Wow."

Tyler's head snapped up as his arms retracted back to his sides, resting his hands in his lap.

"I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare ya. But, that was.. How you were playing, it was.. amazing."

Tyler kept his eyes down, knowing it was Josh who had walked in the room. Tyler's heart was so loud, he was sure Josh could hear it. however, when the boy continued talking, it confirmed to the shy boy that Josh /couldn't/ hear Tyler's heart practically beating out of his chest.

"Have you been playing long?" Josh asked, looking around the room at different string instruments hanging from the wall. He didn't look like a guy who would generally play something stringed.

Tyler shrugged, looking down at his shaking fingers. "I-I don't know.. A-all my life, whenever i could get a-a chance to play.." Ty's voice remained soft but cracked a couple times along with his stuttering.

Josh plucked a few strings of an acoustic guitar for no reason in particular, just testing sound. Tyler was growing more and more anxious, honestly hoping Josh would leave before Ty spontaneously combusts.

The door opened without warning and both boys eyes snapped up to the teacher who stood leaning through the doorway clutching the doorknob. 

"You kids find something? Saw everyone got something but couldn't find you two."

Tyler nodded. "Is the piano all right? T-to use?" The teacher smiled apologetically at the boy.

"I'm afraid that's for students in the advanced classes, Tyler. I'm sorry."

"Wait, hold on," Josh spoke up, holding an open hand and lazily outstretched arm facing Tyler's direction, "this guy can play the piano like its no ones business. He probably shouldn't even be in a standard class, if I'm being honest."  
Mr Renolds looked more than displeased with the new kid speaking to him like Josh did. Tyler couldn't do anything but keep his eyes down and praying that he wouldn't get in trouble for Josh's words.

"Is this so, Mr Joseph?" Tyler quickly looked up at the mention of his name. He looked to the boy with an army green jacket and snapback covering his odd hair before looking at the teacher.

"I-I mean.. I w-wouldn't consider myself a.. a necessarily g-good player.."

"No, he was just playing, and it was breathtaking. I don't think he even has sheets, either." Josh butted in again, causing butterflies to swarm in Tyler's chest.

"No sheets? So you must've played before?"

Tyler shrugged. "I was at m-my cousins for three weeks and they uh had a-a piano. I-I-I played a lot, I guess.."

"Well, prove me wrong this half and I'll let you play piano for the second half of the year - if you'd like." Tyler's heart filled with warmth and he nearly smiled - and he would have, hadn't it been for Josh still being here.

"Thank you s'much, sir it-"

"Hold on there just a second, skipper. There is a catch. You and new guy here have to work together this half. You'll have separate grades along with a combined overall grade on performance and originality. All you two have to do is write a song with lyrics, piano and.. I'm sorry, what instrument have you chosen, Josh?"

The funny thing of this all was that Josh didn't even object to them having to work together. He just looked around the room and his eyes fell on just the thing he'd come in here looking for. A drum set. He looked back to Mr Renolds with a beaming grin.

"The drums. Should be interesting."

Tyler mentally sighed, but physically slouched further where he sat. For a new guy who's only been here for twenty minutes, he sure has made Tyler's life a whole lot more difficult.

"So you're both up for it?" the teacher asked for final confirmation.

Tyler looked up at Josh, who was looking at Tyler as well. Josh shrugged, moving his eyes to the teacher.

"If piano man is, I'm in." The both of them looked back at Tyler. He only had not even a minute to decide. he felt his chest tighten before he nodded against his mind's will. 

"Fantastic! You both can just stay in here and grab the piano booth awhile, just get acquainted with one another today, we'll start on practicing on Monday." Mr Renolds left with a hopeful smile.

Tyler took in a deep breath, wiping the palms of his hands on his jeans before standing up. The two boys headed to the piano recording booth and shut the soundproof door behind them.


	2. But the storm is just beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys back with another chapter !! thanks so much for the positive feedback so far though I appreciate it so much  
> enjoy this chapter !!

The two boys remained silent for a minute. Tyler couldn't tear his eyes away from his hands and Josh couldn't break his gaze from the shy boy across the room. Josh thought he was fragile, he could already tell by the way he spoke and the small things he did, the lack of eye contact, the fidgeting, his wary voice.  
Josh knew fragile. Not only did Josh have to overcome his own sensitivity at a young age, but he's been in relationships and friendships before and knew he couldn't be as hard on people like Tyler, even if it's in a joking manner or not.  
You never know how they'll take it. They could over think, they could be vengeful, or they could be silent. and the silent ones Josh knew did the worst thing possible. Josh actually dated a guy that took things silently but it wasn't long before Josh teased him about something, something so small and insignificant, and the boy took it seriously, and late one night a few days later, Josh got a call from the boy's sobbing parents. It messed Josh up pretty bad. He's terrified of hurting someone else.

"So, uhm," Josh started, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees, his hands connected and fidgeting softly, "I'm not sure if you caught it, but I- uh, my name.. my name is Josh."   
Tyler looked up at Josh, who was trying his best at everything for Tyler right now, trying his best not to hurt him so soon. But Tyler remained silent.

"Hey, if- if you don't want to do this project thing together, you don't have to, i just- ya know, you sounded great and so natural when you were playing, i thought-"

"Thank you, Josh." Tyler said, looking at the rambling boy across from him. Tyler rarely used first names, usually only when it was serious or to grab their attention, but even then it was still pretty rare. But thanks to Josh, Tyler could actually bring one of his few songs to life and have someone actually hear it. Even if they don't understand it, everyone will hear it, they'll hear what Tyler created, what he's capable of.

Josh was shocked, however, when Tyler thanked him with his name. The world in front of him literally brightened up for Josh when Tyler said his name. But to keep from freaking Tyler out like he had earlier in the elevator, Josh just nodded and subtly glanced around with a gently smile, taking in the new view.

"Do y-you play drums or.. o-or was that just a random pick?" Tyler asked, trying to get his stuttering close to controlled. He was proud of himself for actually saying something. He was still a little shaken from what happened between them in the elevator.

Josh's face lit up a small bit as he grinned softly. "Yeah, uhm, no, I've been playing them a lot recently. A friend wasn't using his anymore so I said that I would take them. that was, uhh, about a year and a half ago, maybe.. maybe two? two years." Tyler attempted a smile as best he could and nodded at Josh's explanation.  
"But I'm still not as good on the drums as you are in the piano." Josh's grin grew slightly as he did his best to bring the boys spirits up.  
"Oh, wait, I, uh, didn't get your name?" Josh asked.

"Oh, uhm, I-I'm Tyler, uh, J-Joseph." Tyler lowered his gaze to Josh's pants, the huge ripped hole at the knee. Then Josh's shoes. Just plain black vans with white rubber, few mid spots and smudges.

"Tyler.." Josh repeatedly too softly for Tyler to actually hear him. The name caused more odd sparks in Josh's vision. Josh heard rumors and tall tales about colors and 'soulmates' being linked. But he never thought someone like himself would ever be good enough to actually have a soulmate. And he's always been cool about who he dates, he'll date anyone, really, no matter their sex/gender. Can't tell love what to do, you know?

They sat in silence, neither one of them could quite think of something to say. It was driving Josh a little mad.

"You know, I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger." Tyler looked up at Josh, who had suddenly began talking, with his eyebrows drawn close. "Then it hit me."

It took Tyler a minute, but when he got it, he burst out into laughter. Josh felt something new, this time it was in his chest. a tingly feeling, but it felt nice. The two laughed, Tyler had to wipe at his eyes to make sure it didn't make him cry.

"What- What's the worst thing about throwing a party in space? Y-Y-You have to planet!" Tyler leaned over, his arms loosely wrapped around his sides.

"Josh- J-Josh, where did you- how- how did you even come up with- with that?" Tyler was still laughing fairly hard, but Josh had gotten himself to settle down, a wide and bright grin still on his face.

"Oh, uh, I don't really know, think I just found 'em on the Internet or- or something." Tyler didn't know why, but just how Josh explained it was funny to him and he continued laughing until he couldn't laugh anymore.

The two made it through first period with more jokes. Josh lightly flirted with Tyler, but Ty was almost completely blind to it, still focused on the jokes and puns Josh was sharing. The bell rang to switch classes, so The two took the elevator and took on a more serious conversation.

"Do you know what class you have to go to next? I could help you navigate around the grounds, i-if you'd like." Tyler offered Josh. Ty didn't quite know what he was doing, he'd never really don't it before. He was never this friendly to someone he's just met. But there was something to Josh.  
Josh. the boy with the odd hair. the boy who also lied when he accepted Tyler's offer to show him around. Yeah, Josh already knew where to go, an administrator showed him around earlier that morning. But Josh enjoyed the possibility of a new friendship with Tyler.

"Yeah, that'd be awesome." And with that, Tyler and Josh were walking with smiles to Josh's next class. and they somehow made it to lunch. 

Neither of them thought to get the others number, so when it was time to line up and get lunch, they didn't know of each other whereabouts. That is, until the two collided, causing half of their lunches to fall on to the filthy floor.  
Tyler's fruit cup fell and Josh's chicken sandwich dove down together. Tyler's foot somehow caught on Josh's ankle and caused Tyler to spin and, if it hadn't have been for Josh's sky and quick reflexes, Ty would have joined the food down on the floor.  
When Tyler had both feet on the ground and was steady, he realized that Josh's arms was still gently wrapped around his waist. Tyler took a step away and attempt a light laugh. Josh bent down to pick up the fallen food items.

"What a way to find each other, huh?" Josh said, earning a shy smile from Tyler. Josh threw the items away, and as he turned to go back into the line, Tyler caught Josh's fingers. Tyler saw everything around him brighten up and everything was anything but black and white. Josh turned to face Tyler with a smile and closely drawn eyebrows.

"Hey? You all right?" Josh asked. Tyler nodded and squeaked out what he needed to say.

"You can't go twice. E-even if they see someone cause you to drop it, you a-arent allowed a second l-lunch." Josh shrugged and laughed, patting Tyler's shoulder.

"Hey, that's all right, no biggie." Josh's cute smile and crinkles at his eyes made Tyler's stomach flutter. He smiled at Josh's reassurance. "Where do you usually sit?" The slightly shorter boy asked Tyler. 

"Usually outside." Tyler pointed tiredly to his right, where the inner square of the building was exposed to fresh air. The two boys walked out to one of the 25 round tables. Each table could seat eight. Josh wasn't sure how many people say with Tyler.

"Even during winter?" Josh chuckled as they reached the door, and he held it open for Tyler, who was confused by the gesture, but appreciated it nonetheless.

"Sometimes." Typer said, slipping past Josh. 

"Guess I'll need to but some pretty heavy coats, then, huh? I'm a huge wussy when it comes to the cold." the two sat at the table closest to the large tree, the only tree outside. Seeing as every other table was filled before Josh and Tyler got there, Josh could tell Tyler sat here often enough where people know not to take the table. But one boy - and a cute one at that -and seven empty seats? That didn't add up to Josh. Surely he has more friends than Josh was thinking.

"So does anyone else-"

"Hey! Who's this loser?" Josh heard an unfamiliar voice coming from behind him. A hand slapped down on Josh's right shoulder and squeezed before nothing was there anymore. Whoever it was sat down next to Tyler with a single seat between each other.  
The guy seemed so familiar, the voice, the smile, his features.. it was on the tip of his-

"Josh fucking Dun? Are you fucking serious?" The guy said, grinning a fiery and young excited grin. 

“Oh my god.” Josh quickly got up and grabbed Brendon by a strap of his bookbag until they were out of earshot of Tyler.

“Brendon, i- i can't believe it: of all places, of all fucking places. Look, i don't really care how you got here or why you're here, but you cannot let Tyler know about what went on between us, got it?”

“Jesus, babe, i thought you'd be as happy as i was to see me.”

“Don't do that. Can we just act like nothing happened between us? please?”

“Yeah. Sure.” Josh nodded a thank you, but before he could turn back to Tyler, Brandon grabbed the boy's shirt. “Listen, i don't want to pretend to like each other - Tyler's my friend, so let's put this aside and mutually agree to get along, okay? for him, at least.” 

He didn't sound too sincere, but it was something and josh couldn't care less, he just didn't want to bring Ty down.

“Fine. But i'm only doing it for him. I really like him, so don't ruin it for me.”

The two returned to the table, to a concerned Tyler.

“E-everything all right guys? What was that all about?”

“We used to go to the same school a while back.” Josh explained.

“Found out way back to each other.” Brendon added, which earned him a nasty looked from Josh.

“Oh, well, that's pretty cool.

"Yeah, yeah, it is.” Brendon nodded and offered them both a smile. “So what brought you here, Joshie?" Brendon asked. 

Josh hesitated for a second before he spoke. "Well, I turned eighteen over the summer, so I decided, since I had enough money and a steady job up here, I'd just move up here and ended up transferring schools." Josh finished with a smile and nodded. Brendon laughed lightheartedly at his old friend.

"That's sick, man. So how d'you know Tyjo over here?" Brendon nudged Tyler's arm and reached up with one hand to ruffle his short fluffy hair. Tyler rolled his eyes at the boy..

"Today's my first day and we, uh, met in music class, first period." Josh smiled at Tyler and Ty smiled back, which only caused Josh's smile to grow into a grin. Tyler looked down at that point.

"Woah, who's this?" A chirpy voice asked, coming from behind Josh. A girl with wavy hair and a bright white smile sat down in between Josh and Tyler, directly across from Brendon, looking once at everyone before locking eyes with Josh. 

"That's Josh." Tyler's stomach tingled and gave his whole body a rush of warmth as he said the boy's name.

"Well, hey, Josh!" The girl offered her hand to Josh to shake it. She seemed friendly. she didn't bother asking how they met, she seemed to be more worried about getting to eat her lunch. Which reminded josh that he also had a lunch - or more so half a lunch - to eat.

"Hey, Tyler, want this fruit cup? I don't eat them, usually get them in case anyone wants it, and seeing how yours, uh-"

"Yeah." Tyler blurted, thinking Josh wanted to get out of that increasingly awkward ramble. Josh smiled and slid the cup across the table to the boy.

Tyler was too busy eating pieces of strawberry and blueberry, the rare but occasional piece of mandarin orange to notice the apparently very funny thing Debby said. But he didn't miss Josh's huge, wide, bright grin and his seemingly perfect laugh. Tyler had never heard anything so melodic in his life. The world was unusually brighter than usual, and again, practically anything but shades between black and white.   
But Tyler wasn't that worried at the moment, he'd caught the contagiousness of Josh's laughter. Then Tyler remembered the things Josh told him earlier in class and Tyler laughed even harder for a minute before he could gasp out words in between breathless waves of quiet laughter.

"Jo-Josh, tell- tell them that th-thing from earlier!" Tyler weakly pointed to the table in front of Josh, attempting to point at Josh but obviously failing. Josh let out a quick burst of laughter before speaking.

"Okay, so what- hahah, what's the worst thing about throwing a party in space?" Tyler and Josh already began laughing harder until, in unison, saying:

"You have to planet!" 

Ty and Josh both laughed so hard that they didn't breath for a few seconds, gasping for air when they finally could. Whereas the other two at the table didn't find it all that funny, instead laughing at how the two boys found it so funny, laughing merely because they were laughing and it was so contagious.

"Y'all are fuckin' nuts." Brendon said with his own dumb grin on his face.   
Brendon could see something was up between them, a spark, an extremely positive energy, despite only meeting this morning.   
Brendon kind of had an eye for this type of thing. But he kept to himself. He knew the whole color story, he knew because he's seen the colors, himself, before, but she, the one he saw the colors for, didn't. Neither did the second person. So he had to move on, thus causing his 'slowing down', as Josh put it, in his life. Brendon lost them both because he was careless. But that's a whole other story. and this isn't Brendon's story.

 

However, it was clear what Josh could see. so the best thing Brendon could do was sit back and let it all happen naturally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you all liked it !!
> 
> just a little question, who would you guys like to see Brendon end up with, if I ever decide to include his live life a little more ?


	3. Taco Bell Saga

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all might not be ready for this one ;)

Somehow, Tyler and Josh made it to last period. Tyler sat in the furthest row back, his eyes locked on his open notebook that was slowly being filled with words. So when a muscular body sat at the desk to his left, he paid no attention. He only started to worry when his currently grey desk started fading into an odd shade he's never seen anywhere before. He looked at the carpet below and it had become a shade that was similar to some trees and a few patches of grass that Tyler could see outside the window to his left. He turned his head a little more as there he was. Josh.

A reluctant smile grew on the younger boys face. "Guess there's no escaping you now, huh?"

"Well, there's always tomorrow, maybe we won't have any classes together tomorrow." Josh said, hoping it was the right thing for Tyler to hear.

"But we'll still have lunch." Josh took a second, took the time to just examine Tyler's eyes, as Tyler honestly did the same. Them Josh shrugged.

"If you don't want me to sit with you, then I won't." Josh spoke with a cautious tone as he gave Tyler an option. It set in a little bit of panic in Tyler's mind. Now he had to say yes or no to the boy he only just met. If he said yes, he might not be able to ever get rid of Josh. But if he said no, he might not be able to see his as often as he'd like..

Tyler realized he'd been looking at Josh this entire time, subconsciously examining the boys face. The boys jacket was another shade of whatever the carpet and trees were, his shirt was actually black. Josh's brows drew close together with a seemingly worried smile.

"Ty?" Tyler's eyes broke away from the right shirt on Josh's torso to his concerned eyes.

"Yeah?"

"If anything about me makes you uncomfortable, don't- don't be afraid to tell me, all right?" Tyler nodded before shaking his head.

"You.. Y-You don't. M-m-make me, uh, u-uncomfortable." Josh smiled softly and nodded reassuringly to Tyler.

"hey, did you hear the pet store is having a bird contest?" Josh asked. Tyler's eyebrows drew closer.

"A bird conte-"

"Yeah, no perches necessary."

"oh my god, I can't believe you!" Tyler said as his laughter grew louder along with the boy who caused it to. the student sat in front of the two didn't understand what was so funny, but the two seniors kept laughing. 

"A-HEM!" A strong voice belonging to a woman, Ms Bruick, rang through the classroom, causing Tyler and Josh's mouths to shut and eyes to snap up to where the voice came from.

"A new kid, huh? startin' trouble already?"

"No, ma'am, uh, i- i wasn't-" Josh tried spitting out words but was struggling a great deal before Ms. Bruik cut him off again.

"Quite your stutterin, kid, and introduce yourself." Se took a seat her desk and allowed Josh to stand up and go through exactly what he'd went through this morning. After Josh ended and sat down, Ms Bruick passed out a packet and let us collect textbooks before giving instructions. Tyler knew by the work she gave that she wasn't in a very pleasant mood today, so she avoided as much work as possible. Tyler shares this information with Josh.

people pushed their desks together, began talking and listening to music, and like always, there was that one kid that had a speaker and played the "current hits" playlist while most kids went to work at a leisurely pace.

"Hey, Tyler, what's-"

"Josh, I swear, if this is another joke-"

"It's not this time, I promise." Josh said with a smile. Tyler put his pen down, lazily folded his arms on his desk, lifted his head and slightly turned to face Josh.

"Then what is it, Josh?"

"I wanted to know what your favorite place to eat is?"

Tyler took a minute to process the question, to make up some possible reasons Josh would want to know.But they all sounded ridiculous and unrealistic. The first thing Tyler thought of - which he couldn't quite explain why he thought of it - was a first date thing. But Josh obviously wasn't gay. and neither was Tyler.

"Sooo?" Josh said, bringing Tyler back to reality.

"oh, uhh, I-I-I don't know. I mean, I go to Taco Bell a lot? I'm not.. sure if that's what you- you mean?" 

"Well, it's a start." Josh grinned. Tyler couldn't help but notice the whiteness of Josh's teeth. Josh had slouched further back into his chair, yawning softly, covering his mouth with his fist. 

"A start to what? Josh Dun, what are you planning?" Tyler slouched further in his own seat, sitting more sideways on his hip and rested his head, his cheek, on his fist. He tried. Honestly, he did. But Tyler just couldn't keep his signature cute and goofy smile from reappearing on his face. 

"Well, Tyjo, You've been real nice to me today. I wanted to treat you to dinner, to thank you. And- to apologize for this morning." 

"What happened this morning? I think I should be thanking you. I can play the piano because of you. That means a lot to me, Josh."

Tyler felt like Josh was safe. He was kind, he was cute, despite all of Tyler's efforts to rid himself of that feeling, and his features were subtle but at the same time bold. 

"So Taco Bell? I mean, if we stop by my house, I could pick up ten dollars real quick-"

"Nah, dude, it's cool. Taco Bell isn't that expensive, honestly it's fine." 

"Josh-"

"Tyler." Josh cut off Tyler, saying Ty's name more seriously. Tyler looked down at his notebook his was resting on.  
He didn't like this situation. He didn't like when people paid for him or did stuff for him. It made him feel small, helpless and dependent. He wanted to feel small in a cute way, he wanted to be independent and do things on his own without any help. But people were always going to help Tyler, no matter what he said, there would always be someone.

"Hey, if.. if it'll make you feel better, I'll let you get money, but just a heads up, I'm the kind of guy who tends to buy stuff for people. Especially cool people." Josh offered with a reassuring smile and cautious eyes.

"But I'm not cool, Josh."

"Lot cooler than most people I've come across today."

"Yeah, well what about Brendon? You guys already knew each other?"

"Yeah, when he was a troublemaker."

"He still kind of is."

"Should've seen what he'd been doing before if you think he's a troublemaker now. you'd think he's practically an angel now."

The conversation made Tyler think a bit. How would Josh have gotten to know Brendon if Josh wasn't a troublemaker himself? He looked kind of punk, what with the odd hair, nose ring and the ear tunnels.

"So, are you just as much of a punk as Brendon?"

Josh laughed lightly at first, but as soon as he saw Tyler was genuinely concerned about it, Josh's brows drew closer and he tilted his head. He could see it scared Tyler a little bit. 

"Well, I mean, I was a little bit of a- I did-"

"Joshua Dun! Have you even touched your textbook?" the loud and annoyed voice of Ms. Bruick sounded through the room, bringing al voices to a stop.

"Y-yes ma'am, I have."

"When?"

"When I had to get it and bring it back to my desk."

She bit the inside of her lip and rolled her eyes, clearly irritated.

"Well, Mr Dun, for the rest of class you'll be moved up here. No more talking to your boyfriend." She teased, knowing exactly what she was doing. And she got exactly what she wanted. 

Both boy's faces flushed completely red. Tyler straightened his back, turned and sat properly in his seat, extremely focused on his work now, while Josh was still baffled. He sloppily got his binder and text book together and walked to the front of the room with his head hanging low.  
Ms Bruick had a sly smirk on her face when she slapped the cleared off space of her desk next to her. Josh sat, and when he looked up, he found nobody was actually paying attention to him. Not even Tyler. His heart sank and he slouched in his seat, pushing the chair out because it was on wheels. His hand and arm held him up as his face squished in to his palm and fingers. He didn't remember the exact instructions, but he knew it had something to do with unit 11, page 102 or something, just copying notes on loose leaf paper. But Josh was sad now. He couldn't talk to Tyler. He could see Tyler, but he apparently doesn't want to see Josh.

"Hey, kid." Josh heard an unfamiliar soft voice from his right. It was Ms Bruick. He's only heard her hard and loud voice. But the words she had just spoken were gentle and understanding.  
Josh slowly turned to face her, lowkey scared out of his mind.

"I was only joking, you know that right? But I.. I see the way you look at the boy." Her accent was thick but could easily be understood. She gestured towards Tyler with her pen as she spoke. "You see the colors, don't you, boy? See them in him?"

Josh didn't know what to say. He only knew this lady for forty five minutes and knew her as his intimidating history teacher from a foreign place.

"I-if the colors are anything but, uh, b-black and white, then.. Y-y-yes.." Why was Josh being so open to this woman? why was she being so kind to him all of a sudden? He'd just been distracting Tyler, causing the nth of them to not do work.

But she nodded with a hum and smile as she looked back at Tyler. Josh had glanced up to look at the boy, and rift when he did, Tyler lifted his head and their eyes locked. They kept the eye contact for a good ten seconds before Josh broke and looked down at his paper.

"You can't rush these kinds of things, Joshua. If things are meant to be fast, then so be it. But I know Tyler, I've taught him three out of his four years here. Be gentle and cautious with him. Don't force him to do anything, I learned that his first day in this room. Hates being up in front of people and speaking. But I'm proud of him, sometimes he comes up and asks to speak to the class. He's come far. As a student, at least." That was the last thing either Ms Bruick or Josh said that day in class.

Josh spent the last thirty minutes looking at Tyler every few minutes, missing the soft features of the younger boy. 

Then the bell rang and everyone filed out. Josh took his time, completely forgetting his offered he made to Tyler just a littler earlier. As he walked down the three steps from Ms Bruick's teacher area to the rest of the classrooms level, he honestly wasn't expecting to see Tyler holding his binder to his chest and waiting for him.

"Don't tell me you actually forgot that you're taking me out to dinner?" Tyler asked kindly with a cute goofy grin on his face, giggling as he finished speaking.  
When the bell rang, the first thing Tyler saw was Josh's sad - if not emotionless - expression. He didn't like this look on Josh. It didn't look like if suited him. He liked the huge grin of Josh's that he saw so often today. 

Josh managed a smile, but when he saw Tyler's, it only made Josh's genuine.

"I thought about it, and I didn't want to go if you didn't want to." Josh's tone was.. different, but Tyler couldn't pinpoint what exactly it was.  
Tyler put a hand on Josh's shoulder and squeezed a tiny bit.

"Well, I'm pretty hungry. You know, I only got half a' lunch today." The two broke into laughter. Tyler felt good about himself. He brought Josh's mood up, that felt really good. Tyler walked out of the classroom first to head towards his locker. The history/business building had pretty much cleared already, so it wouldn't be too difficult for Josh to catch up to Tyler. Josh looked back at Ms Bruick, who sat back in her chair and nodded slowly before shooing the boy with her hand.

Josh trotted up Tyler's side happily. First day of school didn't go too bad.

x

The two boys got to Taco Bell, but due to some parking lot construction, Josh had to park his pickup across the street. Josh offered to just get a pizza or something but Tyler was set on Taco Bell. 

As they were crossing the street, Josh stopped to look both ways, seeing two cars coming down one way and the other way was clear. He looked down for one second at his phone and when he looked up to see where Tyler was, his heart nearly stopped.  
Josh didn't think, he couldn't think, all he could do was lunge forward, grab Tyler by the waste with both arms and pull back. They both landed on the ground, Josh hitting the blacktop and Tyler falling back on Josh.  
Josh was sure he hit his head pretty hard on the pavement, but most feeling in his body was numb. His hearing was fuzzy and his sight was just as blurry, his eyes having a tough time focusing.

"Josh? Josh! Josh, please!" Tyler's voice sounded distant, but Josh could see his faces wasn't that far from his own. 

"Josh, you're- we're in- we need to get out of the road." Tyler lifted Josh up by his shoulders, but as Tyler struggled, Josh regained the ability to move his legs, lift himself up and stumble to the sidewalk.

"Josh, I'm so sorry, I wasn't-"

"Are you okay?" Was the first thing Josh could say. Josh put a hand on Tyler's shoulder, but Ty didn't notice it. He was too confused, taken aback by Josh's words. Josh just hit his head in the damn ground and Josh is asking Tyler if /he's/ okay? 

"Are- a-are you serious? Of course I'm okay, I'm not the one who just freaking fell and hit my head on the road."

"You.. You were about to get hit by a car."

"But I didn't, and now you're hurt." Tyler put a hand on Josh's chest.

"Tyler, I'm fine, I promise." Tyler tensed at the word 'promise'. He didn't like it. His fingers tightened on the fabric of Josh's jacket, and the older boy noticed. Josh put a hand on Tyler's tense one, his other hand moving from Tyler's shoulder to his face. The younger boy tensed his whole body then, so Josh removed his hands. 

"If- if it'll make you feel better, I- we'll go to the hospital."

Tyler quietly sighed, relieved a bit. "You're not driving."

"Fine, then you drive."

"But I don't- I only have my learners.."

"Ty, that's fine, just.. Please?" Tyler stood and helped Josh get up on to his feet and walk back to the car. As Josh was hoisting himself up in to the passenger seat, Tyler saw something harsh running and drilling down the back of his head. Blood.  
Tyler gasped but put a hand over his mouth. He knew better than to tell someone something like that because of the whole shock factor, he doesn't know how Josh will take it or react to it. But he didn't want it to get all over Josh's seat, even if it wasn't bleeding that bad.

"Josh, don't sit your head back, okay?"

"What? Wh-why?"

"Just- ..don't." Tyler rushed to the drivers side and hopped in. Josh handed Ty the keys and soon they were headed for the nearest hospital. 

x

Tyler manages to get Josh a room within ten minutes of being at the hospital. A lot of people in the waiting room weren't very pleased, but Tyler did what he had to do to help his new friend.  
Josh had to get a few stitches in the back of his head where his SnapBack cut into his skin on impact. They were worried about his arm and knee, the ones Tyler fell back on particularly hard, worried they might be at the very least fractured, so they planned on keeping him overnight to monitor how he was doing.  
Tyler got checked out too but he was fine, only coming out with a few small bruises on his arms. and one on his back.  
Ty texted his parents to let them know what happened and they reluctantly allowed him to stay with Josh, after getting hollered at for multiple reasons.

Ty kept his head propped up on with his arm, but as he nodded off it proved to be an insufficient strategy to get some sleep. He tried sitting sideways in the chair with his knees up to his chest, but the chair was too small and stiff for that to work. He had finally found the most comfortable, but still very uncomfortable, position with his legs hanging over the side arm rest of the chair. He actually had just been on the verge of falling asleep just at it rolled on to 2am when he heard a cough, waking him immediately.

It was Josh.

"Hey." he said, voice heavy with sleepiness and drowsiness. He rubbed his hand over his face and dragged it up to his hair to mess it up more. Tyler just tiredly nodded, simultaneously sighing with the aggravation of not getting sleep.

"C'mere." He heard. Ty looked up at the boy laying in the hospital bed. Josh had moved to one side of the bed, making room on the other half. Tyler shook his head at the offer.

"Josh, I'm not sleeping on the bed."

"it's not your choice, I'm not- m'not gonna let you sleep on a chair, now c'mon." He slapped the clear side lazily. Tyler shook his head.

"I might.. Get tangled in the chords or something."

"Tylerrrrr, stoooop."

"Fine, you big cry baby." Tyler stood slowly so he didn't get light headed and scooted over to the bed. He crawled up and laid down next to Josh stiffly. He'd never been this close to another human in a bed since he had a nightmare at the age of nine and fled to his parents bedroom. So this was weird. Especially since it's a dude not even five inches away from him.  
But Josh's eyes had already become too heavy to keep open, he was out, and honestly, within five minutes, so was Tyler.


	4. Blue

The two boys didn't wake up until ten, give or take a few minutes. Tyler was curled up facing Josh, his head on Josh's shoulder. Josh was the first to awake, almost immediately clearing his throat due to the uncomfortable scratchy feeling in his throat. It woke Tyler up, his eyes slowly opening. Once he realized where he was, he scooted away from Josh, embarrassed, and his cheeks were quickly becoming hot. Josh stretched his arms up over his head and arched his back, a smile growing on his face.

"G'morning, Tyler."

Tyler bit a small portion of the inside of his mouth to keep from gasping at Josh's morning voice. 

"G-g-good mornin', Josh." Tyler yawned and covered his moth with his hand. Josh smiled at that. Josh couldn't deny the boy was the cutest person he's seen in his eighteen years of seeing cute people. Seeing Tyler yawned caused Josh to yawn just a moment later. Tyler noticed and grinned, waving at Josh because he wasn't close enough to slap his arm.

"Why are you yawning?" Tyler asked after he managed to push his yawn away. Josh began laughing before his faded away.

"Because you were! you know they're contagious, right?" Tyler's eyebrows drew close as he shook his head.  
"You know, I read once that yawning is a form of socially bonding with someone."

Tyler got a kick out of that an giggled, pushing Josh's arm.

"I'm serious!" Josh said, laughing, making it seem like it may not be so serious after all.

"Sure you are." Tyler rolled his eyes before the corners crinkled. And the two laughed.

They laughed for practically the whole day, 'arguing' about what to put on tv, messing around in the cafeteria, having a mini food fight before the doctor came to get Josh and release him. They went to chipotle for lunch, because they didn't actually eat anything at the hospital. Tyler began singing a song about Taco Bell, parodying multiple classic hits.

Their laughter faded to just smiles as Tyler resumed his eating, while Josh just looked at the younger boy. They had found out so much about each other today, birthdays, favorite classes, favorite animals. Josh shared with Tyler that he planned of getting a puppy soon, maybe rescue one from the shelter before winter gets too bad.  
Tyler couldn't deny himself the fact that he swooned over Josh's wanting to rescue a puppy. He'd asked Josh if he could join him when he went to go looking for one, and Josh was more than happy to agree to it.

the world was bright for Josh, there's was no more dim black and white. He still didn't know what to call them, but he assumed these were the so often talked about 'colors', but he didn't know the names of each individual one yet.  
but the names didn't matter, the not thing - or person, rather - was Tyler, because he made it happen for Josh. And, however just meeting the day before, Josh wanted nothing more than to take Tyler out on a cheesy but cute date and kiss the boy that sat in front of him. Hold him, protect him from everything and everyone that wanted to hurt or harm Tyler in any way.

So Josh took a shot in the dark.

"Tyler.." He got the boys attention with his soft voice breaking through the silence between them.

"Yeah, J?" Josh's faint smile grew slightly at the cute nickname he was given. 

"I was, uh.. You know, I completely understand if- if you don't wanna, but.." Josh rubbed the back of his own neck, clearing his throat with a soft, weak cough. "Would you.. want to, maybe, go on a date? W-with me?"

For the first time since he started speaking, Josh looked up at the boy faces with the million dollar question at the moment.

Tyler didn't know what to say. He just stared at Josh, at the boys soft, safe, dark-but-not-black eyes.  
He wanted to say he wasn't gay, because he wasn't. But then again, he couldn't explain what he began seeing when he met Josh. He didn't want to believe that they were the colors, but there's nothing else they could be. It worried him, it set in that expanding and tight feeling in his chest. And left him incapable of anything except staring at Josh's eyes and tightening his grip on his cheap plastic fork.

"Ty?" Josh questioned, concerned for his friend who was currently unresponsive. "Tyler?" Josh said slower, louder, more clear and more concerned. He put a hand on Tyler's tense fist, and Tyler pulled away in response.

"Tyler, say no if you don't want to, it's all right, I understand."

"How can you understand something that I haven't explained?" Tyler said slowly and shakily, fighting off the urge to hyperventilate because of the tears he was holding back. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Josh, but he also didn't want to force himself to do something he didn't want to, like go on a date with a guy, let alone one he met only a day ago.

"Then tell me so I can understand.. please.." Josh asked, genuinely wanting to know what was going on in Tyler's head. 

All the younger boy could force out of his lungs was a pathetic "I'm not gay, J-Josh.."

Josh lifted his gaze slowly up to Tyler's scared, wide eyes, and nodded. He nodded and said he understood, hell, he even smiled, but his world had really gotten all weird when Tyler said that.  
The younger boy had bright clothes on, but as soon as he claimed he wasn't gay, Tyler and the clothes he wore faded back to greys, blacks, and whites. So yeah, Josh was pretty scared.

"Home." Tyler barely said. Josh broke his gaze from outside the window to look at Tyler with a furrowed brow.

"What was that?" J asked softly.

"I-I-I-I wanna go h-home.." Ty looked down at his half eaten bowl of food, not seeing Josh's nod and sad expression.

The drive home was silent, the only sound was a song about not taking the kid from the fight, but taking the fight from the kid. Some new artist from a debut album that released last year.. Josh thought they were pretty cool. The voice sounded pretty familiar, but he couldn't quite point a finger on who it could be, but he was too busy trying to think of something to say to Tyler to apologize.

Tyler only spoke when he needed to tell Josh where he lived and what streets to turn down. Even then it felt like Tyler barely had a voice. As they pulled in front of Tyler's house, Josh was getting out of his seat at a pretty moderate speed, not rushed, you know, but Tyler, on the other hand, rushed out and was halfway down the path to his house before Josh was able to stop him.

"Tyler, hey, wait a sec." Josh caught up to Tyler and hesitates to grab his arm, but did end up catching the hem of the sleeve of Tyler's black shirt. Ty reluctantly stopped and turned to face the barely noticeably shorter boy.

"Wh-what." he didn't ask, he nearly demanded what Josh wanted. yes, he'd been a little freaked out over the fact that Josh just asked him out thirty minutes ago. Tyler had never really been asked out, let alone by another guy. The fact that they just met didn't even bother Tyler that much, it was there but it didn't really matter to Tyler. it's just how he hasn't gone on many dates, he had a girlfriend once for about a year but it didn't work out too well between them so they mutually ended it. But even then, Tyler asked her out. Only one person between then and right now had ever asked Tyler out, but on the day they had arranged for dinner, she stood Tyler up.

"Look, Ty, I-I-I.. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable, all right? that's- that's the last thing I'd want to do. I'm sorry." Josh's voice softened as he apologized for the second time, and his head dropped, eyes fixed on the grass beneath his feet.

Tyler felt bad now. He felt bad about making Josh feel sad, but Tyler couldn't deny that he felt good for sticking up for himself, even if saying and telling himself he wasn't gay felt like a lie.

"Josh." Tyler simply said, unsure of why he said the other boy's name. Josh lifted his head, connecting his eyes with Tyler's, who immediately looked down at his shoes.  
"I-if you want- I mean, we should- should probably start working on the, uhh, th-the-the project. F-for music class. T-t-tomorrow? w-work on it, h-here, tomorrow?"

Josh smiled and nodded, tucking his hands away the pockets of his jeans. He rocked back on his heels and bounced on his toes, and Tyler smiled at the small actions. He began to mimic Josh, rocking on his feet himself.

"You know, i-if you want, like for more focus, or whatever, we could practice at my house. C-could be as loud as- as we want, do whatever. I mean, you don't have to, it's just- just an idea-"

"Josh, that'd be cool." Tyler said, hoping he brought up Josh's spirits a little bit. Josh was now showing off his teeth in a grin. Tyler liked this Josh. the shy smiley boy.

"Awesome, awesome, that's.. awesome." Tyler giggled. He honestly didn't know what it was about Josh. But there was something. There was something that he already valued and he didn't even know what it was. 

"So, uhm, I can uh, what- what time should I be over to p-pick you up?" Josh asked, tilting his head with the question.

"I'll be waiting out on the steps at eleven o'clock." Tyler smiled brightly, earning a smile just as brilliant. Josh stayed in the same spot on Tyler's front lawn, watched as the thin boy walked up to the front door of his house. Tyler gave a small shy smile as he disappeared behind the door, leaving Josh's smile to vanish just as Tyler did.

x

Josh set an alarm the following day for 9am. And an alarm following that one, set for 9:30am. Then there was a series of alarms for 9:45, 9:50, 9:55, 9:56, 9:57, 9:58, 9:59 and 10am sharp. Was it a little much? Maybe. But you never know with this stuff. 

Josh went through his daily routine. Getting a shower, eating cereal, brushing his hair and teeth, getting dressed, pretty standard things. He was clothed in a black shirt with 58 in a white bold font, some gym shorts, red shoes and his signature snapback. 

It was 10:57 when Josh turned in to Tyler's road. He didn't want to be early, he'd rather be five minutes late than five minutes early. so he parked a few houses down and waited until 11:02 to pull around the few cars down the street to pull up in front of Tyler's house. On the step in front of the house sat a thin boy with his knees bent up to his chest, his head resting on them. Josh examined the boy for a moment. Tyler just seemed naturally beautiful. Josh couldn't quite explain it.

Josh sighed quietly and contently before reaching over to crank down the passenger window. 

"Hey, piano man, you ready to go?" Josh called over, ending with a grin. Tyler lifted his head, squinting at the gentle mid-September sunlight, and smiled at Josh. He stood and walked to the familiar pickup of Josh's, greeting Josh with a smile. 

"Hey, mr, uh, hair.." Josh laughed at Tyler's cute attempt to make a witty nickname for Josh. "Don't laugh at me." Tyler said, sitting in his seat, buckling up and crossing his arms with a pout. 

"I know you can do better, Ty." Josh pulled hit the gas and drove down the quiet street of Tyler's, looking over at Tyler every few minutes.

"I honestly don't think I can, Josh." Tyler looked over at Josh until Josh turned and looked back at him, that's when Tyler returned his gaze to the passing scenery.

He felt bad. He usually felt bad almost 24/7, but the feelings was stronger now, and he couldn't shake it like he normally could.  
Two days ago he met this punk ass kid in an elevator. Two days ago this punk ass kid made something happen to Tyler. Two days ago this punk ass kid saved Tyler from being roadkill. Two days ago this punk ass kid made Tyler see shit he didn't know was real or not, made Tyler question.. everything. His others stories, his grandmothers stories, the legend of the colors, and more importantly, Tyler began to question his sexuality.  
Tyler could appreciate a good looking person, no matter their gender. If a person was cute or handsome or downright gorgeous, he'd say so. but never did Tyler ever think he'd be attracted to another guy. He couldn't let some dumb legend determine that for him. Maybe he'd met the girl before he met Josh. Maybe the girl was in the elevator at the time and Tyler just couldn't see her. It seemed possible. As possible as the colors being real.  
He talked to his mom about it last night. But she just told him to talk to his grandmother. So that's what Tyler did, he drove to his grandmothers house, which honestly wasn't even that far away. He asked her about it. she taught him the colors, she gave Tyler a chart with the colors on it and their names next to them. She told Tyler to keep it with him at all time so that if this happened to him again he'd know if it were real or not.  
But when Tyler walked out to his car, all he could do was sit in the driver's seat and look over the chart. He could barely see them now, they were so pale, so on the verge of just being shades of grey again. It made Tyler genuinely sad. He wanted to see the beauty of the world, but.. with Josh? A no good trouble maker with weird hair? He wasn't so sure how far he'd go to see the colors.

"Hey, no worries, man." Josh nudged Tyler's shoulder, laughing off the whole nickname topic. "So, before we get back to my place, I feel like I gotta ask if you would like anything to eat or drink." They pulled up to a red light and Josh took that to look at Tyler for an answer. Tyler looked back at Josh, but he didn't know what to say. Last time they went to get something they both almost died. He had an answer, he swears he did, but as soon as he looked at Josh's soft eyes, everything he was thinking about, was gone.  
After a minute, the boys heard a horn behind them. Josh turned his head and moved the car forward when he saw that the light had been green for who knows how long, and laughed lightheartedly at Tyler.  
But Tyler didn't know what to say. That moment he looked into Josh's eyes again, the pale colors that had faded away in Tyler's world sparked and became beautiful and bright once again. The first color Tyler recognized was brown. A deep, dark, rich brown that made up Josh's eyes and seemed to blend with his pupils. Tyler was speechless. He remained calm but with still just at a loss for words. 

"Well, the offer still stands, Ty. I'm stopping by Starbucks to get myself a coffee, and you are welcome to ask for anything, all right?" Josh smiled and turned up the music but five numbers, going from a nearly silent seven to a soft twelve. It was a different album, Tyler barely noticed but eventually realized the voice was different, the sound was definitely not the same. they sang something about sugar or whatever. 

Tyler was more focused on Josh's hair. The color of it was so close to sky, a bright.. bright.. Tyler didn't remember the name of the color, he saw it on the color chart, he like it but he liked that color red. But this color looked so nice on Josh. Like, really, really.. nice.  
Somehow, Tyler's eyes moved lower. the examined Josh's side profile so closely. His nose bent smoothly. It reminded Tyler a bit of a birds beak. a cute bird, of course, like a, uh.. yellow canary. Josh had scruff on his face, like he'd shaved last night or right when he got home after dropping Tyler off. He had soft features. soft features that could easily become potent with whatever emotion he was feeling. Tyler liked when Josh was happy. When he was laughing. His smile, his grin, was so intense. It made Tyler's heart tightened, like in a hug type of way, like someone came up behind him or beside him and just hugged him with such an intense warmth it spread to his toes, and he couldn't get enough of it.  
But Tyler was snapped out of whatever it actually was that he was doing when Josh turned to look at the younger boy and cracked at smile. 

"Do you want a picture, piano man?" Josh teased, chuckling at Tyler as he pulled in to the Starbucks parking lot. Tyler pushed on Josh's arm, mumbling a shut up to the older boy. "You're fine with going in, right? I could go through the- uh, the, uh, drive-thru?"

"N-n-no, it's-its fine. I can go in." Tyler managed to get out, a bit surprised at how willing Josh was to conform to Tyler, if Tyler so pleased to do that to Josh. But he wouldn't be that rude. No, his plan now was to just hide behind Josh so no one saw the embarrassment that he was, instead seeing the walking hotness that was Joshua Dun. 

The guy Tyler wasn't gay for. 

Because Tyler isn't gay.

Did Tyler mention he wasn't gay? Because he isn't.

"Are you coming or what, then?" Josh smiled at the boy who still say in the passenger seat fighting the thoughts he was having. 

Tyler nodded and unbuckled his seatbelt, upped out and walked up to Josh. Tyler tried to act cool and calm, but stuffing his hands in his pockets didn't actually do him any good.  
Once he got beside Josh, he bit the inside of his lip and his eyes were darting every which way, looking at people sitting outside, at suspicious looking birds, that really sketchy leaf that fell right in front of Tyler's left shoes. He eyed it. Damn leaf trying to expose him. He was ready to yell at the leaf that he wasn't gay, but just as he looked down, he felt a strong arm fall on his shoulders. He jumped, but when he found it was just Josh, all was well.

"Piano man, you need to loosen up. It looks to me like you're bugging out because of a leaf. That's a little concerning to me." Josh moved ahead to open the door for Tyler to walk through first. Once Tyler was inside, he stepped to the left and waited for Josh to walk in front of him. He stayed close behind, but not too close, just enough that if Josh suddenly stopped, Tyler wouldn't bump into him.

"Tyler, are you sure your not want anything? I'm fine with getting you something to drink. It's just a drink, ya'know." Josh couldn't keep his eyes from Tyler as the taller boy looked up at the menu. Tyler's family never usually went to places to get coffee, they usually just made it at home. So he didn't know what was good, he wasn't used to having this luxury.

"You've been here before, right?" Josh asked as they moved up in line. Now there were two people in front of them. Tyler shook his head, eventually bringing his eyes down to Josh's. 

"It's cool, buddy, uhm.. do you like sweeter drinks or more bitter?" Josh asked. His voice was gentle, not rushed, making Tyler feel less pressure than he might have had Josh been pushy and quick because of there only being two people before them.

"Uh.. J-Josh, I don't know. But I really don't need a drink, it's fine."

"But I'd still like to know, Ty." Interest. Josh was showing interest in Tyler. Tyler wasn't used to that feeling. 

"I'll try whatever you're getting." Tyler finally said after they had moved up, leaving one more person to quickly order before them. Josh grinned and nodded. 

"Alright. We'll stay here and let you try it, and if you don't like it I'll get you something else."

"Josh, no."

"Josh, yes."

"I actually hate you."

"I don't doubt it." Josh winked and it sent chills through Tyler's body. All Tyler could think was 'holy shit.. do it again'. that is until he punched his arm and reminded himself he wasn't into Josh.

Josh walked up to the counter where the barista started asking him what he would like. Tyler followed and stood next to Josh, fixing the gift cards, sorting them and straightening them out. Josh glanced at Tyler's moving hands as he asked for the drinks. Josh put his hand on on Tyler's wrist, honestly wishing he had just gone and grabbed his hand like he had planned. When the barista looked away to pass the cups to a co-worker, Josh looked back at Tyler.

'Calm down, breathe' Josh mouthed silently, finishing with a reassuring smile. He payed and the two boys sat at a table to wait, seeing they'll be a few minutes thanks to the abundance of people before them.

"You okay?" Josh asked Tyler when they were sat down. Tyler took the booth seat and Josh took the chair, not minding one bit. Tyler nodded while his eyes moved around and looked at every person in the store only unable to see a few people, but that was all right with Tyler, because that meant they couldn't see him either. 

Josh grabbed Tyler's hand and put it on the table, where Josh then put his other hand on Tyler's.  
Tyler's heart sped up and his chest began to tighten. He just stared at his hand, stared at Josh's hands. Josh could see his discomfort, so he released Tyler's hand.

"Josh?" They heard a perky female voice call for the older boy. He stood, got the drinks and brought them back over to the table. Tyler looked at the liquid. It's color was weird. It matches the upper half of the walls around them, and the ice reflected a more pale version of it. But it did look good, so Tyler didn't wait to try it.  
Josh, however, waited to see Tyler's reaction, watching all the different faces he made when he took the first drink. His nose and eyes scrunched up as he pulled back, quickly bringing up a hand to cover his nose and mouth. Josh chuckled at the boys reaction and took a long awaited sip out of his own cup. 

"Don't laugh!" Tyler said between weak coughs.

"Trust me, that was my reaction the first time I tried it. A worker from a Starbucks where i used to live recommended it to me. Honestly can't stop drinking it ever since. sits a little difficult to get used to it if you haven't been brought up on it, but damn is it good." Josh watched Tyler closely, watching as the boy took a second, larger sip. Tyler swished it around in his mouth to experience and taste all the different flavors the drink had to offer. It wasn't bad. He'll get over the bitter and learn to love it, he was sure of it.

"Not that bad, huh?" Josh took another drink from his own cup.

"You're really pushin' me, you know that Josh Dun?"

"Full names now?" 

"Josh!"

"Tyler!" Tyler raised both of his eyebrows and gave Josh a look, like 'oh really you lil shit let's go take it out back and I'll kick your ass' kind of look, but Josh only smiled, and winked.

"Let's get outta here, piano man." And with that, Tyler and Josh left their seats, left the Starbucks, left the parking lot. 

Tyler wasn't sure what he left at the coffee shop. He didn't bring anything but his phone, headphones and ten dollars. And he left with a coffee in his hands. It almost felt like he had swapped the coffee for something of his. But he felt good. His smile wouldn't leave his face and he wasn't exactly sure how it got there.


	5. Nightmare dressed like a daydream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hey im back pals. warning, i bullshitted the ending i felt bad for not having a chapter up for a while so i quickly wrapped up the chapter. enjoy

Tyler doesn't know what, exactly, he expected Josh's house to look like. To be fair, it wasn't exactly a house. He lived in a small motel looking place. 3/4 of a circle, two long buildings dedicated to being apartments, and the other was about half the length of the other, and it was an office area. the outside of the buildings were covered in old, faded and just in the beginning process of rotting wood shingles. The concrete was dirty and from the opened door of the apartment next go Josh's showed the dirtiest carpet Tyler's ever seen. Tyler's hopes for Josh's apartment were falling, and he almost question if e should make up an excuse to leave before he even got there. 

Josh unlocked his door and opened it, allowing Tyler to walk in before he did. And Tyler had to admit it, he was surprised, to say the least. The carpet was clean and actually extremely close to being pure white. The hallway was slim, there was a door to the left, and a smaller one to the right. Closets, maybe? When you got to the end of the hallway, it opened to very large living room/dining room area, no separation between the two. The couch was an L-shape and was pushed against the wall to the left corner of the room.  
When Tyler looked to the right, there was one door on the wall to the right, and a kitchen across from it. the kitchen was walled off but had that mid-wall, counter break in it facing the living room and a door directly across from the door to Tyler's right. It was small but cozy. A good start, Tyler guessed.

"Yeah, I know it's not much, but it's something. I try to keep it as nice as possible. Make yourself comfortable." Josh smiled and walked through the first door to the left. Tyler saw it was a bathroom. noted.

Tyler couldn't help himself, he was too curious. He softly stepped back through the hallway to see what the door to the right was, it was a closet with a few coats and jackets hanging up. So that left one door, the door to across from the kitchen. He assumed it was the bedroom, so he decided on leaving it closed.

The next thing Tyler saw took his breath away. There was a full drum set in the middle of the large living room. How did he miss that before? It was right there straight ahead from the hallway, how could he have missed that? However, it gave Tyler a better feeling about the project. Josh probably played all the time, so he most likely knows what he's doing. That's good, because Tyler doesn't.

"See you've found my toys." Josh said, walking up beside Tyler. 

"Yeah, mr drummer boy." Tyler said with a smile. The nickname made Josh grin.

"Nice one, piano man." 

"So you didn't just.. blindly pick the drums for the project?" Tyler asked as Josh walked towards the couch, flopping back in the middle of one side. Tyler watched and jut looked at Josh, how lazily he was sitting. His feet were touching but his knees were as far apart as they could be. His hands rested in his lap, his arms on his thighs. He took off his snapback and tossed it to his left on the cushion next to him.

"Well, yeah, I wouldn't pick an instrument I didn't know how to play." He finished with a smile. Tyler didn't worry about the smile, or the brown eyes. He couldn't keep his own eyes from Josh's hair, still vibrant and beautiful inside. 

"Then, what would you play if the drums weren't there?" Tyler finally walked over to the couch when Josh patted the cushion in the bend of the couch, inviting Tyler to sit with him.

"Trumpet."

"You play the trumpet?"

"No, I'm saying I'd Trump it and just fire the teacher to get out of doing the project." Josh said with a straight face, but he was honestly trying his hardest not to laugh at himself.

It took Tyler a second, he first furrowed his brow at Josh, but less than five seconds, he busted out laughing, starting off quiet until his chest hurt, so he had to breathe in. Josh laughed with him. The laughter continued until their stomachs ached and they were wiping tears from their eyes.

"I.. hate.. you.." Tyler managed to get out between laughs. The two settled and joked around for a little while longer, until about 2-ish, when Tyler suggested they get started.

"Okay, so, lyrically, what did you have in mind?" Josh asked. Tyler grabbed the note pad and pen that sat on the coffee table in front of them, writing down the lyrics. He hesitantly gave Josh the notepad.

As Josh's eyes scanned the sheet, reading the lyrics written on the page. 

"You know you can sing in front of me, right? No one can hear you except me right now." Josh reassured Tyler, looked at the shy boy sat next to him.

Tyler took a deep breath and closed his eyes. His hands squeezed each other so tightly he could barely feel them. his nails dug into the other, giving a small bit of feeling back. He bit the inside of his lip and spent a few minutes gathering courage.

Josh wanted to keep to himself, wanted to let Tyler figure it out on his own, but the drummer couldn't help himself. He grabbed one of Tyler's hand and gave it a gently squeeze. The smaller boy gasped quietly at the sudden touch, looking up at the boy with the blue hair, the hair that had just became more full of color than before. He could feel Josh start to release his grip, so styler squeezed his hand around Josh's bigger one and held on as he began to slowly sing.

"I know.. Where you stand.. Silent.. In the trees.. And that's.. Where I am.. Silent in the trees.."

Josh watched Tyler, absolutely amazed by the boys voice.

"Why won't you speak.. Where I happen to be?" Tyler relaxed. His voice relaxed. But his hand remained in Josh's. "Silent.. In the trees.. Standing cowardly.."

He took a deep breath and his voice became louder, showing more confidence.

"I can feel your breath.. I can feel my death.. I want to know you.. I want to see.. I want to say.. Hello.."

Tyler's voice sent shockwaves through Josh's body. He never wanted Tyler to stop singing to him. He'd never heard someone sing with such heart, such passion. Tyler truly amazed Josh. Three days and Tyler has introduced and done so many things for Josh, and what made his heart ache was Tyler didn't even know it, at least not yet.

Ty looked at Josh, almost as if he wanted approval. Josh just smiled and kept his eyes locked with Tyler's.

"Oh my god. That.. That was amazing, Tyler. Your voice.. Your voice is just.. amazing." 

Tyler's cheeks began to warm up, so he looked down to cover them up. "No, no, n-n-no, that's.. that's not possible, my voice is.. it's weak, Josh. I have a.. my voice is bad. I've got a bad voice, Josh."

"Tyler Joseph, trust me, you do not have a bad voice. I.. I love it."

"Josh, don't say-"

"No, Tyler, don't you say that you have a bad voice. Because until you stop saying that, I'm going to keep saying that I love your voice." The boys kept their eyes locked on each other's.

Tyler didn't know what exactly to call Josh's eye color. They usually appeared too dark to determine they were anything other than brown, but right now, in this bright lighting of Josh's living room, there was more of a red tint to the brown on the outer edge, and a color almost.. green dancing it's way around the black pupil of Josh's, intensifying them and making it more difficult for Tyler to pull his gaze away. 

And what lead up to what happened next was is totally beyond Tyler - and Josh, too, for a matter of fact, he wasn't expecting anything like this at all.

Tyler leaned forward, closing to gap between himself and the blue haired boy. He connected their lips, and nothing had ever felt so terribly wrong but so unbelievably right at the same time before. Josh's lip were so incredibly soft, it made Tyler's heart flutter. He got lost in everything, the way their lips were slowly, softly, barely moving with the others'.  
As he felt Josh's warm but shaky breath against his cheek, he realized what he had done, what he was doing, and pulled away from Josh, breaking his away from the losers boy's, as well. His cheeks were hot and his heart was racing. What did he just do? 

"I-I-I'm- J-Josh, I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"Tyler.." Josh took his index finger and hooked Tyler's chin, turning the boys head until their eyes met. Josh leaned closer to Tyler, making the younger boys heart race and breath quicken in a panic.

"Josh, aren't you mad?"

"Would I be trying to do it again if I were mad? Just kiss me.." Josh's voice was hushed, spoken in a soft whisper, sending chills through Tyler. The real shock to both of them was Tyler closing the gap between the two once again.

Josh opened his mouth just slightly to start some movement between them. Tyler began feeling a little lightheaded, so he brought his hands up to rest one on Josh's shoulder and the other to cup the older boys face. Josh's hands found their way to Tyler's waist, holding they boy firmly and gentle enough to not hurt him.  
As the breathing between the two became heavier, Tyler found himself being pushed against the back of the couch, causing him to whimper against Josh's lips.

Josh pulled away, lips red but eyes concerned. "You all right, Ty?" He asked breathlessly.

Tyler didn't know. He didn't know if he was all right. He just kissed another guy. He just kissed Josh. Everything was not all right. But in a weird way, it was. 

When it came down to it, Tyler nodded. He wanted to feel Josh's touch, He wanted to keep doing what they were doing, maybe do a little more. He wanted to see more colors, and the only way to do that, it seems, was to kiss Josh, become more intimate with Josh. And they had time, Tyler didn't need to be home until four thirty, and it was two thirty now.

"Josh, I.. I'm sorry.."

"For what?"

Tyler didn't have a response for a minute, he was taking a minute to think of what he wanted to say, what he needed to say, and how to say it. 

"D-do you know.. The.. About the colors?" When Tyler looked up after finishing his sentence, Josh's eyes were shining and he smiled, nodding in response to the question at hand.  
Tyler took a deep breath and nervously chuckled before running a hand through his hair.

"Can I ask you another thing, then?" Josh nodded.

"Of course."

"Did.. Could you.. Can you see them, too?" Tyler voice was so soft, so terrified. Josh barely heard the boy and they were only inches away. Tyler sounded like he was on the verge of tears, so Josh put a hand on the younger boys back and slowly ran his hand up and down his spine. Josh placed a soft kiss to Tyler's forehead, one on his nose, and another on his cheek.

"Yeah. Yeah, I-I-I do.. I can see the colors too, Tyler.." Josh rested his head against Tyler's, giving the shaking boys hand a squeeze as they were still holding on to each other.

Tyler all of a sudden pulled away from Josh, only to sit in the shorter boy's lap, hugging him tightly. Josh hugged him back just as tight, comforting the scared boy. Tyler was shaking so bad as the two hugged, it was worrying Josh. He didn't want to see Tyler like this, he hoped he wasn't going to cry, because that would tear Josh apart.

"Tyler? Tyler, why are you shaking? What's wrong?" Josh said softly into the boys shoulder, holding him close until he felt Tyler break the embrace first. Ty looked down at just with tears threatening his eyes.

"I'm scared, J-Josh. I'm /terrified. I mean, i know I can't say that.. that the colors are- are- that they're wrong, but I just never thought.."

"I know. Tyler, I know. You're not gay. You don't have to be gay, you could still be any sexuality that's open to any gender, you don't necessarily have to be /gay. But you don't have to tell anyone. I understand."

Josh's words helped calm Tyler down, it made him smile, cup Josh's face a kiss him. Warm tears still ran down his face, but they no longer represented sadness, more of joy. When Tyler pulled away, he rested his forehead on Josh's.

"You know, you're too nice, right?" The two laughed. Tyler took this time to appreciate Josh's face, his shiny little nose ring, the way the corners of his eyes wrinkled as he grinned and laughed.

"Josh?" Ty asked for what felt like the twentieth time today.

"Yeah, Ty?" 

"I-I.. I don't- I don't wanna sound, uhm.. R-rude, or anything, but.." Tyler's words trailed off as he turned his head and pressed his face into his shoulder.

"Ty, what is it? It's okay, you can tell me." Josh was so kind with everything, Tyler honestly thought it was a little too good to be true. He was waiting to be woken up to his boring grey world at any moment, but it never happened.

"Josh, I.. I just don't want to rush into a-anything.. Y-you know? I still.. I want adjust, b-because it's still a little.. it's weird?" Tyler didn't know what word to use to describe it. He's always told himself he wasn't into guys, but then Josh comes around and shit hits the fan, now he's sitting in the lap of this guy, sharing kisses and hugging him. 

Josh nodded, his eyes showed he understood. He didn't look hurt at all, which made Tyler feel better.

"That sounds like the best idea." Josh agreed. The two sat silently for a moment, just looking at each other's eyes. Tyler's eyes were beautiful to Josh. From afar they only seemed to be a dark brown, but up close, they were more of a green with brown surrounding the pupil.  
Tyler felt like he was floating, his mind was swimming and his heart was racing.

"S-so what now? Shouldn't- shouldn't we get started on the, uh, the project?" Josh asked, unsure of what to do while Tyler remained in his lap.

"Josh.. I don't.. I wanna.. I-is it b-bad of me to say that I.. I kinda wanna.." Josh sighed softly and cupped Tyler's face, gently connecting their lips once again. After a minute, Josh had to pull away to give himself and Tyler a chance to catch their breath.

"Wanna do.. that?" Josh asked softly, keeping their noses only a few inches away. Tyler smiled with his teeth before biting his lip, his eyes shrinking thanks to his joy and giddiness.

"Mmm, more like.. This.." Tyler isn't sure what came over him, and Josh's as surprised, to say the least. The younger boy slowly leaned forward, inching his lips closer to the side of Josh's neck. Josh held his breath, unable to do anything but wait.  
Tyler ran his tongue over his lips, dampening the dry skin, before he took in a calming breath before pressing his lips against Josh's neck. The younger boy parted his lips enough to expose his teeth against Josh's skin, taking just the slightest bit of skin in between them.  
Tyler hasn't done anything remotely close to this in ages, so it felt different, more so that it was with Josh, another guy, but it still felt good to do anything after doing nothing for so long. 

The colors would quickly fade when Tyler would pull his lips away from Josh's skin, only to reappear in bursts when the younger boy would press his lips against J's skin.

Josh didn't want his dominating-nature to show so early, and although he controlled it for the time being, but the way Tyler was serenading Josh's skin, it drove him close to the edge.  
But one question rang through his mind; this wasn't moving fast for Tyler? This left him to wonder what was down the road, then, if they made it that far.

It took every ounce of strength Josh had to slowly break away enough from Tyler and get the boy to look up at him so Josh could talk.

"Ty- uh, I mean, n-not that I, you know, not that I don't like this, trust me, I do, you're- wow, you're actually pretty good at it, but uhm.. this- this isn't, y'know, moving too fast?" Josh didn't want Tyler to take it the wrong way, that's the last thing he wanted to do. 

"Is this.. t-too fast for you?" Tyler asked with an innocent-sounding voice, looking at Josh, the younger boy's eyes, which half of his lids covered, held a familiar lustful look glazed over them, and it was beginning to drive Josh a little mad. But the boy but his lip and shook his head, tossing his head back to expose more of his neck. 

"Tyler.." Josh said, causing Tyler to smirk against his skin.

"Tyler.." He said, louder this time. It sounded less like a moan, but Ty kept biting Josh's neck.

"Tyler!" 

Tyler pulled away, only to realize he hadn't actually moved since Josh was continuously voicing his appreciation of Ty's voice. Tyler was wide-eyes looking around the room. Did he really just daydream him kissing Josh? Oh, well that needs to be stopped, it cannot and will not be tolerated by Tyler.

"You all good, Tyjo?" Josh asked with a little chuckle but remained genuinely concerned about the younger boy next to him.

Tyler hesitantly nodded, unable to do anything else.

"Yeah. I'm good. Fine."

"You sure? Anything I could do or get you?" Tyler smiled at Josh's kindness, but he shook his head softly.

"No, I'm.. Im all right, Josh. Thanks."


	6. Ballerina Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> please excuse any and all grammatical errors, a majority of this was written between 1 and 5am. Love and appreciate you all so much, thanks for sticking around<3

The two boys sat on Josh's couch talking like they'd known each other for years instead of days, random topics forming out of the previous one. But the moment came when all conversation just died off and they were left in comfortable silence, sharing the same wide smile and cautious eyes. Then it hit Tyler.

"So why have i gone waaay out of my comfort zone and sang to you, yet you haven't even touched your drums yet, huh, Drummer boy?"

"You wanna see me drum?" Josh said with a smile, Tyler grinned and nodded, holding his knees and rocking giddily. Josh chuckled and stood, making his way over to the drum set. He sat on the seat, picked the sound-blocking headphones from one of the cymbal and gave it to Tyler.

"I don't want your ears to hurt, in case it's too loud."

Tyler's grin grew wider as he took the protective headphones from Josh.

"Will i still be able to hear you?" Ty asked.

Josh smiled and nodded. "Yeah, you should."

Tyler put the headphones over his ears as Josh picked up his drum sticks. He began to go through his routine of stretches to get himself loosened up. Tyler sat to Josh's left, almost in front of him, close enough to see Josh's whole body and most of the drum set. 

A few minutes later, Josh had began to hit the two sticks together before hitting the drums in front of him, kicking the bass and the cymbals as needed. 

And as Josh drummed, there were times where he would gently let his head fall back and his eyes would close. It was undeniably the hottest thing Tyler has ever witnessed. Too bad he's not gay.

Josh moved fast but never messed up, he kept an incredible posture and still hadn't slipped up. Tyler was impressed, to say the least. He could only hear the sound of the drums softly, but he wasn't even that focused on the sound, instead fixated on the way the boy in front of him moved and got lost in what he was doing. Josh played like it was his passion, and Tyler bet it was.

With each sound, Tyler could see almost splashes of colors coming from the drum Josh hit, and with every different one that was hit a different color came out of it. Tyler couldn't deny that it looked wonderful, but it was still weird. He liked his grey world, but these colors were lovely, and he was afraid that he's falling in love with it. 

Josh had finally finished whatever piece he began, Tyler wasn't sure if it was from a song, a Josh Dun original or just something he quickly made up to show Tyler. Ty slipped off the headphones and just grinned at Josh as he looked to Ty to see if he liked it or not, which Tyler totally completely did.

"That was fantastic, Josh! That sounded so good! How'd you even learn to keep such a good posture?" Tyler was beaming and so was Josh, the connection between the two was definitely special. They knew that, but as Josh told himself, he has to pace this, he has no room for mistakes. this was his first color encounter and he wanted it to be his only one. He genuinely liked Tyler, enjoyed his company, the energy he radiated and Josh wanted to be around that, around Tyler.

Josh blushed and looked down, pressing the side of his face against his shoulder, smiling sheepishly.

"Oh my god, Josh, what is it!?" Tyler could already tell it wasn't good just by how Josh was acting. 

"I took ballet for a few years.." Tyler didn't know ho to react. He thought it was odd at first but soon the corners of Tyler's mouth twitched and stretched out on his face.

"That's so cool, Josh!" Tyler honestly loved it, it was so unique and he never would have thought Joshua Dun knew anything about ballet.

"Really?" Josh's voice held self doubt and Tyler didn't like that, Josh shouldn't be ashamed of it

"Yea, of course!" Josh smiled a real big smile and Tyler returned it.

"Do you wanna play? Drumming's not all that difficult." Josh offered.

"That's what you say, you've been playing longer than me." Tyler leaned back, scooting his legs out from under him and stretching them out in front of him, tapping one of the legs of the stool Josh was sat on.

"How do you know that?"

"So you're telling me you just bought these last night or something?" Tyler gestured to the full drum kit.

"I could have." He said with a twitch of his eyebrow and a forming smirk.

Tyler narrowed his eyes at Josh, not sure of what to say. He wanted to be a smart ass but he also didn't. not right now.

"Hey Josh, i don't want to be rude or anything, but would it be cool if I.. if I stayed over tonight?" Tyler didn't know how else to ask. He hoped Josh said yes, but he had every right to say no. Tyler just didn't feel like going home and having to go through the routine of explaining why he was home so late, then be forced to hide away his emotions because all his family will say is 'get over it'. He doesn't want to get over anything, he wants help on how to cope with it.

"Yeah, of course you can, Ty. That's not a problem."

"A-are you sure? I don't have to, Josh, not.. not if you don't want me to."

"Why wouldn't I want you to? You're fun company, I love having you here." Tyler mentally pleaded Josh not to say 'love', not to tell Tyler he loved things associated with him. It made Tyler feel like he had standards to keep up with. But it also made him extremely happy that someone he liked had a mutual feeling. 

Tyler just smiled at the boy sat in front of him. Four days later and Tyler was sure this boy was special to him in some way. Whether it was the feeling of actually having someone who wants Tyler around or if it was the dumb jokes, the drumming or knowing Tyler saw the colors in Josh. But he didn't want to let this go, not yet. He told himself 'don't screw this up, something like this won't happen again' and that motivated Tyler enough to push away these feelings of wanting to kiss Josh, and keep their new-found friendship a /friendship/.

\--

Neither Tyler or Josh kept track of time, too busy daring each other to do little things, telling more insane stories - more from Josh's end than Ty's - Tyler told Josh some crazy things he's climbed, lol one of those gigantic metal telephone towers you can find in fields. so when the two boys had finished wrestling and now lay on the floor laughing and catching their breath and saw on the clock that it was nearly 2am, they almost couldn't believe it. 

"Woah. What the heck? How's it two am?"

Tyler sat up and looked at a puzzled Josh, but was more focused on how J's chest moved up and down as he breathed. 

"Huh. Time flies, I guess. I haven't had this happen in forever."

"Have what happen?"

"Well, just spending time with someone and actually lose track of what time it is. Hasn't happened in forever."

"oh.. When was the last time?"

"Well, it was.. Ah, it's not so important. I don't want to say I regret it, because I don't, but I don't like thinking about it because of how things ended."

Ended? Was it a relationship, what Josh was talking about? Tyler wasn't sure why, but for some reason that concerned him. Was he jealous? He couldn't be. No, no he wasn't. 

But Tyler nodded and looked down at his hands, trying anything to keep himself distracted. Distracted from his feelings, from the impulse things he wanted to do, wanted to say.

"Ty?" Josh looked up at Tyler, and before he could get an answer, Josh was already moving to sit up and across from Tyler.

"Tyler, is there something wrong?" Tyler looked up at Josh with a pretty vacant expression.

"Ty, are you sure-" All of a sudden, the boys heard a loud grumble-type noise coming from the younger boys stomach. They both laughed, and Tyler's cheeks growing into a pink shade.

"Guess you're hungry, huh?" Josh asked, standing up and offering a hand to Tyler, which the younger boy took happily.

"Yeah, hadn't really noticed, but yeah." Tyler responded with a smile.

"Well, than let's go. Taco Bell cool?"

"As long as we don't get hit by a car."

"Maybe I you learned the right-left-right in first grade we wouldn't have almost gotten hit."

"I did! I looked /four times, that craphole came out of /nowhere!"

"Did you?" Josh said, trying his best not to grin and laugh as Tyler narrowed his eyes at the older boy.

"Don't test me, boy." Tyler looked around for his shoes, having forgotten where he took them off at.

"Lucky for you, this ain't school, so no pop quizzes." Josh noticed Tyler's eye roll. He also noticed the smile and gentle blush he hid as he continued looking for his shoes.

"Door. Remember?"

"Door? Remember what?"

"Listen, I know it's almost two am but c'mon, man. Your shoes. Took them off at the door."

"OOH!" The two laughed and made their way to the front door. After their shoes were put on, Josh grabbed his keys from the hooks and opened the front door. Out f his natural politeness, he allowed Tyler to go out first, but as soon as the younger boy stepped out, he was met with a frigid breeze. He jumped back, surprised by the nippy weather, and found himself stumbling back, tripping over the metal doorway. Thank god Josh was there to catch him and make sure he didn't fall into the floor, instead slamming against the older boys chest, his elbow nailing Josh's chin.

"Oh! My god! Josh! Are you okay?" Tyler turned on his heels, gaining his balance back quickly. He was concerned for Josh and if he was hurt too bad. Tyler had a hand on J's shoulder and helped guide Josh to the wall where the older boy balanced himself on his feet, steadying himself.

"Josh are you okay?"

"Dude, yes, I'm fine." Josh began laughing and patted Tyler's back. "It hurts a little but i am all good, my friend." 

Tyler furrowed his brow almost angrily before throwing himself toward Josh, his arms tightly around the blue-haired boys shoulders. Tyler felt fuzzy, for lack of better word, inside. He saw pale shades of pink and purple, some blues, and it made him feel comfortable. Though when he separated himself from Josh, the pastels faded back into, what he assumed was, normal colors. Josh's hair seemed brighter, but Tyler could barely tell, as it was covered by a baseball cap representing a baseball team, leaving only a few strands visible.

"Hey, it- it's pretty cold out, do you want a pullover or- something?" Josh offered, rocking from his heels to his toes and back, a cute, shy smile on his face. Tyler nodded, vaguely forgetting how cold it actually was out tonight, a fairly rare occasion for being in the end of summer, Tyler figured it must've rained earlier to have cooled the temperature down this much.

The boys walked back inside where, instead of going to the closet Tyler earlier saw was filled with coats and such, the younger boy was led to Josh's bedroom. The older boy dug through his dresser and eventually pulled a black hoodie out. it looked a little big, but Tyler liked loose fitting hoodies and sweatshirts. on the sleeves there were two white bands and on the front there was some logo, maybe from a band or something. but Tyler really liked how it looked, he was just worried how it'd look on him, he didn't want to look bad or ugly in front of Josh.

Josh closed the drawer after grabbing a thing long sleeve for himself and walked over to Tyler holding up the hoodie with a smile.

"Here ya go." When Tyler gently grabbed the hoodie, josh took two steps back and proceeded to slip the dark red long sleeve over his torso. It looked good on Josh. Tyler could bet everything look good on Josh.

Tyler examined the soft article of clothing in his hand for a minute before pulling it over his head. Josh smiled at Tyler.

"Looks good on you. I never felt too good in that one, to be honest."

"Really? Uhm.. th-thanks." Tyler appreciated Josh, but something in the back of Ty's mind didn't quite trust it, didn't exactly believe Josh. But he was like that with all people, he never got too many compliments, so it was a foreign feeling. "I mean, I bet you don't look that bad in it."

"Eh, who knows. C'mon, let's go get some t-bell."

\--

The trip to Taco Bell was an interesting one. At 2am Josh seemed like a significantly better driver than he was earlier. Maybe because there was less traffic, maybe because he was driving at a little bit of a slower speed, maybe it's because they were talking the entire time. But if Tyler could explain it in one word, he'd use blissful. 

With the cool air coming through the slightly cracked open widows and the headlights lighting up the road in front of them and the trees blurring together, hearing nothing but Josh's sweet voice. The soft light from the headlights reflecting and softly illuminating Josh's face.

Once the two got their food, they took it out to the truck and ate there instead of inside the restaurant. There wasn't much light though, just what was coming from Taco Bell and the street lamps at the entrance/exit of the parking lot, but it was enough to see the food and the features of Josh's face.

"You know, a few days ago I wouldn't have ever thought that I'd be sitting in a Taco Bell parking lot at two am with a ballerina drummer." Tyler said after he finished his burrito. He took a drink of his soda to wash away the mild taste and to keep himself from grinning like a fool at his own sarcasm.

"Oh, really? That's weird, because all I could think about before I met you was 'one day, I'm going to eat Taco Bell at two am in my truck with a sarcastic crap-hole'."

Tyler laughed and pushed Josh's shoulder. "Crap-hole?" He said through his laughter. Josh nodded, finishing his taco.

"Yeah, you're totally a crap-hole!"

"Okay, true, but that doesn't mean anything. Then what would you rather be doing right now instead of being here?" things quieted down as Josh thought for a quick second, shrugging hen he found something to say.

"Sleeping, probably. Cuddling would be cool, but I don't have anyone to cuddle with. That sounds... Really weird, sorry." Josh looked down and nervously laughed, trying to keep things cool.

"No, not.. Not weird, actually sounds pretty nice. If we're being honest, I've never really cuddled." Tyler nearly mimicked Josh's nervous laughter as he 'confessed' to Josh. 

"That's kinda unfortunate. Wish I could help you, but.. I don't know, guess that might be weird, I guess?"

"It'd only be weird if.. if we made it weird. I-I'm not saying we should, just saying if we did, then.." Tyler didn't know what he was 'just saying'. Yeah, so what if he did actually want to cuddle with Josh, he obviously wasn't going to, that'd probably make them both feel uncomfortable.

"Yeah.. No, no I get you, I get that.."

The silence had grown extremely awkward to Tyler, he didn't know what to do or say or even think. This whole conversation was just.. messy Tyler wish he could hit a 'redo' or a 'rewind 30 seconds' button to at least tell himself how weird this would turn out.

"If it makes you feel better, we.. kind of already h-have." Josh looked over at Tyler, a confused expression on the younger boys face.

"What? Wh-when?"

"The hospital."

That's right. They were. They did. Josh and Tyler cuddled. Holy crap. Holy /crap/. That's not good, not good at all. If his parents had known, had seen them, they'd probably have Tyler's head on display. a little golden played screwed in under it would read:

'Tyler Joseph

The immoral son who accidentally cuddle with another male'. 

He didn't have that many friends to begin with, losing his parents and brothers would leave him with no one except a distant Debby and the boy that ruined it all for him in the first place. His entire family had his life planned out for him. Exceed in basketball, find a girl, marry her, have a family, die. 

Tyler's heart began racing and that familiar feeling in the middle of his chest of panic and wanting to vomit reappeared.

"Ty? Tyler, are you okay?"

Ty's eyes shot up to Josh's, the older boys face full of concern, like he knew exactly what Tyler was feeling. Ty's eyes were wide and his eyebrows were drawn close together, reaching for Josh's hand as he held them out.

"Y-yes, yes, Tyler, squeeze my hands, it's alright." Josh nodded slowly and soon Tyler was, too. Josh grinned and although Tyler didn't return it, it made him feel better.

Josh didn't know exactly why this happened to Tyler, but he did know what he felt. Josh felt that anxious feeling, the heart-racing, stomach-turning, frozen-still feeling. It was there and it was strong, but all Josh was thinking about was Tyler's sweet eyes, intense even though Josh could barely see them in the poor lighting. 

"Hey? Hey, do you wanna go driving around for a little bit? It- it usually helps me get my mind off things." Tyler just nodded, thankful Josh had experience, and he had a solution, and just the effort helped Tyler out in the slightest. Josh quickly leaned over and pressed a small kids to the top of Tyler's head before putting the truck in gear and rolling out of the lot. Tyler didn't think much of the small gesture Josh offered. Instead, he took Josh's right hand and squeezed it like he had before.

\--

Tyler had told josh that his favorite part of driving was looking up and out at the trees. Josh slowed the truck and put the high beams on, trying his best to give Tyler what he likes. 

Eventually, they reached a park entrance and turned into it, driving down the long, narrow road until they reached a large parking lot with no defined parking spaces. Once they pulled in to spot in the far corner of the lot, the headlights revealed the top of a hill revealing a split in the trees where it shown the sky. There weren't many stars showing until Josh turned off the headlights. There still weren't many but there were more.

Josh yawned as he turned off the car, taking away the soft hum of the engine and lights of the gauges in front of the wheel. Tyler yawned, too, a little louder than Josh, only because he was mocking the older boy. J looked over at Ty and laughed.

"Really? This is how we have to bond? Yawning?"

"It's the only true form of getting to know someone, didn't you know that?"

"Guess I do now." The two shared a bit of laughter, and that's when they both realized how tired they actually were.

"How long are we staying here?" Tyler asked, letting out another yawn, this time from actual exhaustion. They had been driving for a good hour, who knows how far from home they are.

Josh shrugged, looking at Tyler in the dark, barely able to make out any detail of his face. "Seeing as it's almost four am and we're both about to pass out from exhaustion, I'd say that we should just state here."

"Where would we sleep?" 

"Well, there's a backseat?"

Tyler just blankly stared at him.

"Oh, come on. It's cold, no one will ever know-" Josh was cut off by Tyler's small but sharp voice.

"Except you."

"Do you really think I would tell anybody about it?"

"Well, I mean.."

"The correction answer is 'no', I wouldn't. I'd into say anything if you'd ever want me to, and, no offense, it's pretty clear you don't want me to, so I won't. but it's really cold and we sorta need some sleep, Ty." Josh wasn't agitated by Tyler's caution, he couldn't blame him, he was the same way when he was with another guy for the first time. But that stories for another day.

"Hey, don't use 'Ty' against me."

"Why? Do you like that nick name?" Josh grinned at Tyler, who rolled his eyes and sighed. 

"Plus, it's a prime cuddle-time, Ty." Josh winked, and in the soft moonlight, Tyler caught it, and inevitable blushed - thank god Josh didn't see it, though. that might've ruined Tyler.

"Fine, whatever, drummer boy."

"Oh, you're bringing that back?" Josh said as he opened his door and hopped out, opening the back door and climbing in. He closed the door behind him, locked it and leaned against, adjusting his legs across the back seat.

"Yes, I'm bringing it back. How did it even leave, it hasn't been gone that long?" 

"Jeez, just get back here, piano man. You're stalling!"

Tyler couldn't put it off any longer, so he opened the door and jumped out of his seat and made his way to the back seat. When he opened the back door, he didn't exactly know what to do. Just the image of a smiley Josh with open arms and crossed legs made Tyler's stomach fill with those stupid butterflies. Of course, when Tyler put a foot on the side of the truck, Josh uncrossed his legs and let his left rest on the floor.

"Josh, like I said, I never-"

"I know, so let me take care of it. Lock the door."

"That sounds sketchy."

"Yep, because I don't want anybody breaking in and possibly killing us, completely sketchy."

"Do you get cranky when you're tired?"

"Who doesn't?" Tyler rolled his eyes and say in the seat across from Josh.

"How exactly does this.. Where do I.. I'm lost..?"

"I know, little lost boy. It's up to you if you want to lay on your stomach or back."

"But where?"

oh boy. Josh almost felt bad for Tyler, but he didn't, because he knew Ty wouldn't like that. "Uhm, against me? my chest? where else would you..?"

"That's why I was asking.." Tyler mumbled as he crawled up to Josh, adjusting himself to where he laid on his back against Josh. It felt weird for a minute, but as soon as Josh wrapped his arms around Tyler's chest it felt almost natural. 

He was close to Josh. They were close. But was this close enough? Knowing that there were at least four layers of clothes in between them, it seemed like this was as close as they could get. However, Tyler disproved this theory when he got Josh to loosen his grip, allowing the younger boy to flip over and rest against Josh's chest and stomach. He could hear the blue-haired boy breath, he could feel his chest rise and fall. It made Tyler feel like this could be home.

Josh's arms came back down to Tyler's back, his hands finishing different spots and rubbed cautiously. Tyler felt safe. He was afraid, he was worried, but, oddly enough, he wasn't anymore. Not in Josh's arms, at least.

Tyler nuzzled his face into Josh's chest, breathing in a new but sweet smell that belonged to Josh. He laid on top of his left arms and his right remained in its spot in front of Tyler's face on Josh's body. It was so warm, so comforting. And it out Tyler to sleep in minutes.

For Josh, however, it woke him up, being so close to someone for the first time in an insanely long time. It took everything he had to not play with Ty's hair or press small kisses around his head, in his hair, but the least he could do was rub patterns on the boys back and help him sleep.

However, exhaustion was a much greater force and finally took hold of Josh, and the boy closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. He dreamt of nothing other than what he was already doing, cuddling the boy that changed his world.


	7. Bliss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy FUCK that took forever i am so sorry guys. I don't know where this story's going next but believe me i don't know what i'm doing but i'm trying my best. 
> 
> love you guys!

New Message!

juiceua dun: hey, you get the caramel iced coffee, right?

Tyler was walking to school with his brother next to him when he had received the text from the cute punk boy. Tyler couldn't deny the smile that his brother brought to attention.

tyjo: yeah:)

tyjo: wait

tyjo: josh what are you doing

Josh didn't respond for a good thirty seconds and Tyler was freaked out.

tyjo: josh don't you dare buy me a coffee

tyjo: josh i'm serious

Still no response.

tyjo: you're a punk and i'm calling you 

Tyler tapped Josh's contact picture, one of him with ton of chins from the lower angle that he took when they swapped numbers. He then clicked the call button and waited for Josh to answer.

“Well hey there, Ty.”

“Stop, no Ty. Where are you?”

“Kinda rude, don't ya think? Man, i would've thought that you'd be nicer, seeing as you're getting a coffee free of charge.”

“That's the issue, though, J. I didn't ask for a coffee. I'm paying you back.”

“Hey, i'll take that coffee if you won't.” Zack spoke up. Tyler gave him a quick look to keep quiet and out of this.

“How much is it? No, doesn't matter, i'm giving you ten to pay back for the other one and the taco bell.”

“Tyler, im not taking the money.”

“Yes, you are. i've only known you for five days, i can't owe you this much already.”

“You owe me nothing.”

Tyler paused for a quick second, not wanting to take too long to respond. “No, i owe you everything.”

That couldn't have been any more dramatic than it already was. 

“Hm. You okay, Ty? Got pretty deep there.” A small and nervous laugh came from Josh's end of the line, followed by a closing car door.

“Yeah, well, you did kinda save my life on thursday.”

There was no response, just the sound of soft laughter but not a rude kind.

“Listen Tyjo, I gotta drive, so.. I’ll see you in a bit.”

Tyler frowned. He didn't want to hang up, he still wanted to talk to Josh. But he figured since they'll be face to face in less then a half hour, he could sacrifice this once.

“Alright. Drive safe.”

“Sure will, piano man. Bye”

“Bye.” - call ended - 

Tyler didn't like saying that word, but he at least had to try and make himself seem normal around Josh - at least until he's comfortable around him.

“So, who was that?” Zack asked. Tyler shrugged, keeping his eyes ahead on the cement.

“No one, just a friend.”

“Mmhm.” Zack rolled his eyes. Tyler caught the sarcastic tone in his voice, however.

“What? He is just a friend!”

“Oh.. Well, of course he is.” Zack sounded genuine now, all traces of sarcasm disappearing.

“Well wait a second - what does that mean?”

“Well it's a guy - of course he's your friend. You'd never date - or even be interested - in another guy. It's just weird.” Zack went on. It confused Tyler - how could his own brother think like this? The boy didn't think about it too much as they approached the school property, though.

“Hey, i'll see you later?” Zack asked, pretty much knowing he would. But Tyler wasn't sure. He didn't know what Josh had in mind, if he had anything. He was pretty unpredictable.

“I don't know. I guess.” Zack left with a confused expression, heading down to his first class. This left Tyler to walk to the other side of the school campus, alone. Alone with his thoughts.

What his brother just said really woke Tyler up - and not because it's still not even 7am yet. These.. things, these feelings, that he's been feeling when he's around Josh, the day dreams and, to be quite honest, the dreams he has while he sleeps don't help his case in any way.

He wasn't gay. 

Clean and simple.

He wasn't gay, he wasn't bi, he wasn't pan, he wasn't anything. Because, according to the church and the bible and his parents and apparently everyone else he knew, that was a sin. And he didn't want to sin.. 

He actually wasn't sure exactly what or who he was. He didn't know who he liked when it came to gender. He never really thought about it. But he did now that he liked Josh. Two nights ago, he couldn't deny that being so close to Josh was one of the greatest things he's ever felt. He didn't know how to tell that to Josh.

The whole thing - having to label himself - made Tyler feel a whole bunch of ways; angry and upset, although he liked confirmation and knowing who he is, yet at the same time he hated it. The pressure of people wanting to know his sexuality annoyed him - because he wanted to know, too. But he didn't. So he couldn't help himself when he felt that tightening in his chest and fist when someone - like his brother - made a wise-ass remark like “oh so he's you're boyfriend now?” “You guys always hang out i bet you're in love.” and what really dig into him was when people used “gay” and “fag” as insults, even if it wasn't directed towards Tyler. 

Just thinking about all this got Tyler upset, his agitation clear in his closely drawn eyebrows and thin lips. He tried to take a deep breathe to calm himself down but nothing worked, they were just growing heavier and quicker. He was about to sprint, to just run to the woods, climb a tree and forget about school. He needed a break. He couldn't go to class all worked up like this. Yeah, he'll more than likely have to explain to his brother why he wasn't at lunch, and his father why he didn't show at practice, but who cares.

Tyler's head was down but he managed to look to both sides slightly before making his decision. His heart raced just thinking about running. And it almost stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

“Oh my go- Josh! What the hell?!” Ty shouted at the boy who had already backed off, seeing how surprised and annoyed Tyler was when he whipped around. 

“Woah, uh, I just, you're way past the- the school campus, i.. i didn't know if you were okay..” Josh looked down at the cement where his shoes loosened a mixture of dirt, rocks and dust around. 

“J-josh, m’sorry..”

Josh's rich brown eyes took a minute to look up at Tyler's sad ones. Josh couldn't deny that he felt a little hurt. He was worried about Ty. He only wanted to help, but he knew first hand that sometimes help is the opposite of what people need.

But even if Tyler needed space or not, as Josh was jogging up to the younger boy, he felt his own heart speed up and his nerves tighten his muscles, and although he was already jogging, the feeling made him want to take off at a sprint, and as real as it felt, it was also distant. It was there but it wasn't him, he wasn't feeling it, but he was..

Now, as he and Ty kept their eyes locked, Josh felt the squeezing in his chest and the aching in his throat, but his eyes weren't wet. Instead, the taller boy stood in front of him had the tears threatening to laze down his cheek.

“No, Tyler, no, no please”- Josh stepped towards Tyler and wrapped his arms around the boy, who returned it. Ty's body shook in waves as he unsuccessfully tried to hold back soft sobs. Josh's hand rubbed up and down and in circles on Ty's back, saying soft things like ‘i understand’ and ‘i'm sorry’ and ‘let it out’.

It still hadn't registered to Tyler just how lucky he had gotten when he met Josh in that elevator. But it was slowly coming to him that Josh was important - one way or another. Ty's eyes were squeezed shut so he couldn't see anything but the blackness of his eyelids, however, Josh could see green-ey-blues washout all the other colors as he held the shaking boy tightly in his arms. 

“Tyler, were you.. D-did you want to skip school today?” Josh asked. Tyler pulled away just far enough for Josh to keep his hands on the younger boy's shoulders. Ty kept his eyes down as he nodded.

“Ty, that's fine. Where were you headed?” Josh kept a hand on Ty's left arm. The younger boy wiped his eyes with his free hand and shrugged, going to readjust the straps of his backpack. 

“I donno, just.. somewhere in the forest. Somewhere quiet.” Ty explained with a soft voice.

Josh nodded, offering a shy smile. “All right, well.. Just- Just be safe, okay?” Tyler's heart sank in his chest and his legs almost gave way.

“You're.. Y-youre not coming with me?” And there went Josh's heart, shattering at the sound of the broken boy's voice.

“No, i-i-i will, if you want me to, of course i will.” Tyler's lips twitched for a second before they stretched into a fragile smile. He nodded and didn't think twice before throwing his arms around Josh, embracing him in another hug. 

When Tyler had calmed down enough, they pulled apart and Ty yawned, covering his mouth with his hand.

“Tired already?” Josh teased with a smile.

“Crying makes me exhausted, yes.” They began walking the way Tyler had been before, Josh on the left me Ty to his right.

“Well hopefully we find a nice spot and you can take a nap.” Tyler was surprised to find no trace of sarcasm in Josh's words. It sounded like a smart comment someone would make, but Josh sounded serious about it. 

Tyler took in a long breathe and he thought that's all he needed, and he let it out. But come to find, when he felt warmth consume his left hand, it was then that everything felt fine. He only glanced down at his hand, which was now attached to Josh's, not wanting to give the wrong message of him not liking it - because he actually really liked it.

Few cars drove past the two and not once did Ty ever feel like he shouldn't be holding this boy's hand. He felt calm, like as long as he held J’s hand he could be tranquil.

The world around him had faded gently into a more pastel pink and purple, as if looking through colored sunglasses that altered the how the world looked slightly. But when Tyler looked over at Josh, he saw the older boys hair hadn't been altered by the pinks or purples in any way. Still as blue as ever. 

Josh caught Tyler looking and his smile grew wider, exposing those dimples Tyler's only seen once before. His face had so many features, hidden, loud, subtle. Tyler looked down at the cement passing by as they walked hand in hand.

“Hey Josh, you didn't get coffee, did you?” Tyler looked at J for his response and only got a frustrated groan and the sound of Josh hitting his face with his hand.

“Huuuuhh, yes, yeah, i did. But it's pretty far back, we've been walking for a while. And if we go back we might get caught by a teacher.” 

“But, they cost money, Josh. Money. You can't waste it like that.”

“First of all, Tyjo, i have a steady job - which i have to go to tonight - and second, they were free.” Tyler raised his eyebrows, confused by the free part. Josh grinned and laughed breathily laughed, swinging his and Tyler's hands a little.

“The girl behind the counter was flirting - a lot. And it was painfully obvious. I just wanted the to get the coffees and get out of there so i could see you, but she didn't want to let me go, so she kept a pretty one-sided conversation going. Finally her manager or someone came out and told her to yanno just take the dang order and let me go, cuz, school ‘n all.”

Tyler nodded. Someone was flirting with Josh. He got free things from it. That made Tyler feel uneasy. He tried to loosen his grip on Josh's hand, the dizziness of his head and tightness in his chest and throat again. 

“Ty?” Josh peered over to get a better look at the younger boy who was concentrated on the sidewalk in front of them.

“Tyler, what's wrong?” The older boy stopped himself and the younger boy and turned Tyler halfway to face him as gently as he possible could. As Tyler look away, the angry expression on his face was clear to Josh.

“Is this about the girl? Tyler, all I wanted was coffee, I didn't pay any attention to her. I.. I don't know why it would matter, though, you've.. you've made it pretty clear you're not into guys, so..” Josh's voice was soft, quiet after he said he didn't pay attention to the girl. Tyler felt hurt, but it wasn't his own pain. He was only jealous, not hurt. However, the expression painted on Josh's face clearly depicted he was hurt.

“I don't know i guess i'm just.. jealous.. And it looks like i've ruined another friendship..” Tyler sighed and ran a hand through his short and flat hair.

“Tyler, you didn't ruin anything. Just.. you gotta know that i'm not interested in anyone at the moment.”

“But that could change.”

“Well, so what if it does? I reached out to you, but, i mean..”

“Yeah.. I know..”

“Waaait a minute,” Josh's small smile, perked eyebrow and playful tone were back and so was Tyler's confusion. “Are you.. jealous?”

Tyler's cheeks immediately burned and he looked away with an angry brow. 

“Tyler Joseph, the one who turned me down, is jealous of people flirting with me?” Josh's smile formed into a wide grin and Tyler's cheeks burned even hotter.

“No.” The younger boy muttered.

“i'm just foolin’ around, Ty.” Josh squeezed Tyler's shoulder and nudged him. Tyler pulled his shoulder away from josh, muttering a ‘quit it’ under his breathe. 

But Tyler could stay mad forever, in within a few minutes Josh got him laughing by tickling his sides.

\--

The boy's made it to the forest and decided to just keep walking, hand in hand, because, honestly, neither one of them wanted to let go. They came to a small stream - just wide enough to not be able to jump across. On the other side, there was a thin wall of trees and what looked like a small open area. Josh thought it looked cool but he didn't know how they'd get over there. so he suggested to just stay here or go back. However, Tyler saw a fallen tree that went across the width of the stream and figured the diameter was big enough for them to walk over - and that's exactly what he planned to do.

For the first time in over half an hour, the two released the other’s hand, and while Josh stay at the exposed roots of the thick tree, Ty was already hoisting himself up and hesitantly standing up with his arms up and out to the sides for balance.

“C’mkn, Joshie. You aren't really afraid, are you?” Tyler teased as he put one for in front of the other cautiously.

“Well, i mean, i don't know.. kinda?”

“Kinda?! Why kinda!? C’mon, Josh, its only like seven feet, its not that bad of a walk!” Tyler had already made it to the other side of the tree and he was fine. the only thing that had hanged was the fact that the tree was on an upward slant so he was about a foot and a half/two feet higher now, which he could easily jump down from, seeing as it was still only a grand total of four feet off the ground.

“Tyler? i don't know..”

the younger boy knelt down, sat his bottom on the tree trunk and allowed his few from under his thighs to dangle down. 

“Joooshiiiee, it's not that bad! And you don't have to stand, you could shimmy or koala-hug it over if you're that afraid of falling!” Josh bit his lip and looked at the steadily running stream, the fallen tree, the similar tree it was leaning on and then the boy sat on top of it. And he made his decision. 

Josh took a deep breath and quickly hopped up onto the log and practically ran over to the other side, nearly knocking over Tyler. J sat in front of the younger boy, who was grinning and softly laughing, proud of his friend for doing what he did.

“That was nice, J! Good job, m’proud.” Josh looked up and flashed a breathless grin, his heart still racing.

So what if it isn't that high or the stream wasn't that wide, he's still allowed to be nervous and anxious, especially since he can't even control it. But, in the end, Josh did it, and he overcame his slight fear of heights. 

“Can- Can we get off now?” Josh asked with a shaky voice. Tyler nodded and proceeded to swiftly jumped down. He held his hand out to Josh who clumsily scrambled down, gripping Ty's hand tightly. 

“Ow.” Tyler frowned, shaking his hand until didn't hurt as much. “You have a really strong grip, yanno?” 

“Yeah, i'm real sorry about that.” Josh took Tyler's hand that he nearly crushed and pressed a few soft kisses in various places. Before Tyler realized what was happening his cheeks were already set ablaze and his eyes were trying to find anywhere to look but at Josh. Meanwhile Josh felt that same warm feeling in his chest and knew what he had made Tyler feel.

Tyler took a deep breathe and managed to calm his nerves to the point of at least managing. 

The two walked over to the open area under the canopy of leaves, in complete awe at how gorgeous it was. The leaves seemed to sparkle, thanks to the sunlight shining through the top. There was a small pond in the middle of the area with about fifteen feet between the edge of the pond and the tree line. The ground was still wet from the morning dew, so, being the gentleman he is, Josh slipped his faux-leather jacket off of his shoulders and laid it down on the ground. 

Josh let Tyler sit first then he followed. Tyler stretched his legs out and leaned back on his propped up arms, while Josh leaned over his knees that wet brought up to his chest. He looked at the water, as smooth as glass, reflect to the trees their natural beauty and show them their unique dances.

Josh closed his eyes and allowed the cool air and melodic rustling leaves fill his space. His mind was blank for once and it was cleansing and freeing. He took a deep breathe and let his head gently fall back.

 

“Josh..” The older boy's eyes fluttered open and he looked to the boy who spoke his name.

“Yeah, Ty?”

“I.. I wanted to say.. I wanna.. apologize for snapping earlier. My brother said.. something, that i thought.. I didn't know he thought like that.”

“Well, what did he say? If you don't mind my asking.”

“Just.. I don't know how to say it without being weird, uhm.. Well I called you, and when we got off of the phone, Zack was teasing me - until i told him you were a guy. And.. I don't know, I didn't know he thought like that.”

“Like what?”

Tyler made a face, running from the only word he could find to describe it. But he didn't want to say it. He had so much to say, so much running through his mind but he didn't know how to put them into words.

“Josh, I like you. I like you and i don't know how you did it, but you did. And, you know what? I'm- I’m not even ashamed of it, either. I shouldn't be, but-”

“Ty-”

“I know we saw the colors, and, i mean, they don't lie.”

“Tyler I-”

“I don't care what my family thinks or what anyone else thi-”

“Tyler!” Josh voice was loud but held a hint of a laugh at the younger boy's rambling and put a hand on Tyler's. 

“Tyler, i didn't know how obvious it was, but i like you, too. From what i've gotten to see in these four full days, you're one of the chilliest people i've met. Yeah, can't deny the colors we're able to see now because of each other, but i haven't actually been paying that much attention to them.” Josh smiled.

“How have you not paid attention to them? They're.. breathtaking. And- A-and your hair! It's the same as the sky, and some of my shirts and the blankets and walls, and water!” The boy beamed, his attitude changing from distant and uncomfortable to giddy and excited. Josh grinned at how Ty talked about the colors he sees and how they've affected him.

“Seriously, I don't believe that you haven't paid attention to them, J.” The younger boy brought his knees up to his chest and rested his head on them, a soft smile playing his lips. He turned his head subtly and looked at Josh, examined his hair as beams of sunlight hit it, causing abnormal shadows to take form on his face. 

“How did you dye your hair that color? Did you know it was that color, what it would look like?” The younger boy asked. 

Josh shrugged and kinda shook his head. “Nah, not really. The woman who did it had suggested that it would look good on me - she could see colors. So i thought, why not? so here we are. It seemed darker, though, when i first got it done.”

Tyler smiled, He enjoyed Josh's voice, and he was sure, now, he could spend so much time just listening to it.

“I think I like the color of the trees and the grass. Green.”

There was a moment where a gust of wind blew through, causing the leaves to dance wildly and sing as loud as they could. Tyler looked up and - had he not been so focused on the sound - he would have shivered in response to the wind. 

“Do you think the store would have green dye?” Tyler's eyes lit up at J’s words, a smile growing across his face. 

“I sure hope they do. Would you really dye your hair that color though?”

“Depends on what shade they have.” Josh picked up a blade of very lightly colored grass and twisted it in his fingers. “If it's this bright, then i don't think so. But if it's darker,” He stopped to pick up a very freshly fallen leaf, one side intense and dark while the other was brighter, like the blade of grass he had, “like this, then yeah, is probably dye it. Won't know till we look, though. Would you be up for helping me dye it? You know, since it's your favorite color?” He couldn't help himself but wink as he finished. Tyler could feel his cheeks start to make their existence known and thus looked down at the grass that his shoes were messing up.

As much as he tried to fight it, Ty couldn't keep a long, quiet and strong yawn at bay. Josh notice and offered the best thing he could. 

“None of that, now. Should get some sleep, pal. C'mon.” Josh scorched over and made adjustments to lay down while he brought Tyler down with me. 

“J, i don't- i'm fine, i-”

But before Ty could get a solid argument against the older boy, he was already laying flat on the ground, his knees still bent up and keeping him from slipping on the slight downhill towards the pond. His head rested on Josh's extended arm so, as Josh explained it, his hair wouldn't get wet and have grass stick to him.

They both closed their eyes and felt the same thing in their chest; full heart, filled to the brim with joy and bliss. The anxious and panicky feeling wasn't present for the moment and Tyler felt like he might actually be able to get the sleep he should have gotten the night before. 

The only movement they could hear or feel was the wind and the leaves. That is until Josh slowly moved his head to the right. His nose brushed the younger boy's soft brown hair that still wasn't as long as his own. Tyler embraced the small gesture and turned his head to his left, scooting as close to J as he could. 

With the trees singing their song and the wind cooling the boy's in the warmth of the sun, the two eased into a much needed rest.


	8. the boy as blue as the ocean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really am so sorry for how long this took. i've recently gotten motivation back for this, hope i didn't lose too many of you. 
> 
> also please excuse all the typos, my phones a real piece of shit right now. 
> 
> lov u guys -cam

Neither Tyler nor Josh were aware of how long they'd been asleep when they woke up, just aware of being in each other's embrace, warm and safe. Josh looked at the usually frail boy that he had his arms wrapped around and smiled, beaming, as expected. His eyes consequently squinted and Tyler reacted by tucking his face into Josh's neck, overwhelmed, almost, by J's cuteness. Josh began seeing more yellows and soft greens more than any other color as Tyler and him rocked, until, finally, Josh rolled all the way and Tyler was on top of him. 

“Hope you slept well?” Josh managed through soft laughter. Tyler sat up and only became aware seconds later of where exactly he was sitting, and Josh seemed to realize, as well, though both kept quiet about it, and the boy below thought about anything he could to keep his wandering mind distracted. Tyler had his hands on Josh's stomach to hold himself up. 

“I guesso. Best i've gotten in weeks - months, actually.” J smiled at that, though it was sad, it felt good knowing that he was the reason Tyler got some good sleep. 

“That's good to hear, Ty. Ready to go get some food?” Tyler nodded and stood up, taking a few steps back from Josh. Ty offered J a hand to help him up but the older boy nearly pulled him back down.

“You're so strong, what the heck.” Tyler stumbled back as Josh stood, catching his hands so the younger boy could regain balance. 

“No more fallin’, alright? Done too much of it in the past minute.” They both lightly laughed before Josh picked up his jacket from the ground and they made their way out of the forest the same way they entered it. 

The two made their way back to Josh's car, where the older boy sped ahead to open Tyler's door for him and help him up, even though he needed no help. Josh ran around to the driver's side and hopped in, only seeing what time it actually was when he igniting the roaring beast of a pickup. 

“One thirty? Already? Man, that's not a lot of time left to be with you.” J's voice was soft and sincerely sad, disappointed. Ty put a hand on Josh's leg - the first place his hand went, he hadn't necessarily planned on that spot, but it'll have to do - and looked up from his hand to his big green and brown eyes.

“Jay, it's fine. I can come over, i'll just tell my folks i had to study or something. Problem solved.” Tyler smiled and Josh returned it. Little did he know, not all his problems would be solved, and more would surface.

\--

The employees of Taco Bell weren't sure f there was something in the baja blast or the chalupas the two boys had gotten, but they could hear them losing it, laughing their asses off, all the way from the kitchen, even with all the equipment running and grease sizzling. 

The two had forgotten what was said and were now feeding off of each other's laughter, fueling their own and keeping the cycle going. Finally, some bystander approached the two and politely asked them to ‘turn the volume down a few notches’. The two rowdy boys obeyed kindly, and finished their food with smiles and grins that never faded into straight lines.

Josh sat back in his chair after he finished. “i can't even remember what was so funny.”

“That makes it even funnier.” Ty said with a chuckle.

“Yeah, well, i think we've annoyed everyone in the county enough with our joy. Wanna head to my place now?” Ty nodded and they cleaned up before heading out to J's truck. The drive to his apartment wasn't long, it was actually across the road, but they had to go up the road a bit and turn around. 

When the two got inside, Ty saw nothing had really changed since the last time he was here. He turned around so he could take his shoes off, but as soon as he did he crashed into Josh, causing his baja blast to spill all over both of them.

“Shoot!” tyler said, hurrying to the bathroom to put the cup in the sink and grab towels. Josh only lightly laughed. watching Tyler rush around to clean up. J went to the kitchen to get damp paper towels and told Tyler everything was fine, told him to go to his bedroom and change out of his drenched clothes. 

Filled with guilt, Tyler quickly made his way to the bedroom. He likes through the drawers of clothing, finding a columbus blue jackets hockey hoodie, too big, as expected. His pants were practically untouched by the drink, which sucked, because he wouldn't mind wearing a comfy pair, especially if they were Josh's.

He heard someone behind him and whipped around, seeing the boy who owns the hoodie Ty was wearing. 

“Nice, it looks good on you.” Josh complimented with a soft grin.

“Y-yeah..” Tyler trailed off as he was struck speechless by the way Josh was looking at him, the way he ran his tongue over his slightly dry lips. 

“Josh?” Tyler said his name shakily and almost wished he hadn't, because the hot look Josh had was now replaced with worry.

“You good, Ty? What's up?” Josh stepped back towards his bed and sat on the edge, proceeding to slip his damp shirt off. That's when, suddenly, all fear had washed away from Tyler wasn't aware of how quick he actually walked up to Josh, cupping his boy's face with both hands and reaching down to pressing their lips together.

This wasn't a daydream, Tyler was 110% sure of that. This was real. He actually gained some courage and did what he wanted to do. He pulled back a few inches just a moment later and looked down at Josh's glossy eyes. 

“Is this okay?” He asked in a soft voice. Josh licked his lips, swallowed and quickly nodded. 

“You can sit on my lap, if you want.” He offered, patting his thighs. Tyler took the offer without a second thought and climbed onto his lap while reconnecting their mouths. Josh was the first to begin moving his lips softly, dominating Tyler's actions just a bit. His hands found Tyler's hips and, as much as he wanted to, resisted sliding them down to his ass. 

Josh would only do what Tyler wanted him to do, and that might turn to be difficult, seeing as Tyler wasn't exactly sure what he wanted to do. Like starting a sentence and not bowing what you actually want to say, that's what he practically just did. 

Tyler pressed his body closer to Josh, but could only get so close without co rotting into an awkward position. Josh pulled away and reconnected to Tyler's neck, only softly kissing. 

Josh was anything but swift when he tried to pick Tyler up, failing and ending up nearly dropping him. he was glad Tyler was quick to react and landed on his feet.

“Oh, my god, Ty, i'm so sorry!”

“No, it's fine, it's all good.” Tyler looked up at Josh with a smile and blush to accompany. 

“Ty, that..”

“Yeah.. I-i know, i shouldn't have, but..”

“I am.. /so/ glad you did.” Josh reassured breathily, ending with a grin.

Tyler couldn't help himself from letting his eyes fall to the slightly shorter boys shirtless torso. He subconsciously licked his lips, though when he realized he knew he couldn't face Josh now, he'd had to’ve seen him just now. 

Good thing was that he didn't have to; He closed his eyes when he felt Josh put a hand on the back of his neck and pulled him closer, reconnecting. Josh opened his mouth a little further, deepening the kiss, getting some movement going. Tyler instinctively grabbed onto his shoulder with one hand and his side with the other. His skin was smooth, a few bumps here and there. His chest was extremely smooth and it appears as though Josh has just recently began working out, his body was softly chiseled. 

Both of them began breathing more heavily as the intensified this interaction. Josh pulled away to catch his breath, afraid he'd fall from the blissful lightheadedness caused by the reality of kissing tyler.

“Do you wanna lay down?” he asked, referring to the bed his legs were pressed against. 

“Lay down.” Tyler asked (more like demanded), and Josh did so, laying like he would any other night, his head resting on the pillows.

“Under the covers or no?” He asked. Tyler nodded, so J made the arrangements to where his lower half was under the covers. 

Tyler walked over after he took his jeans off and replaced them with a pair of Josh's sweatpants he found at that moment. He crawled under the covers and on top of Josh, as the boy below him helped cover them up. 

Tyler observed the boy looking up at him, getting to appreciate the little things he couldn't get the pleasure of noticing from afar, like his long eyelashes, the shades of blue, the shirt dark brown roots growing out. However, the most spectacular to Ty was J's eyes, the small but of light crawling through his window hitting them just right, highlighting the colors they were made of, rusty browns and forest greens carefully spun and intertwined.

“Your eyes are gorgeous, Jay.”

“Are they, now?” Tyler hummed in response.

The colors around them were fuzzy, soft hues, more purples and soft pinks than other colors, yellows sticking out here and there. However, the brightest of all was Josh's hair and his eyes. All completely different colors, and also sharp and crisp rather than blurry. 

“Josh? You know what's odd?” Josh hummed. “The colors? They like.. they change with the emotions i feel and.. i only see most colors when i'm around you. I'm.. I'm not sure what it signifies?”

J's eyebrows drew closer together, thinking now of his experience with the colors he'd been seeing the past five days. In all honesty, the only color he focused on memorizing is the younger boy's eyes, when he got to see them. 

Josh didn't really concentrate on the surrounding hues. He had been studying how Ty's face brightened when he talked about something he loved, and how the colors softened when he was asleep this morning. 

He felt warm as he thought back on these things, and Tyler could also feel it.The younger boy smiled, his pink lips illuminating Josh's vision. He now that only only saw what he wanted. J's theory was nearly proven when he saw Tyler's eyes were now dull greens and reds. He knew he still wanted Tyler, all of him, but the desire to kiss the boy was strong above all else. 

“I.. i think i see, more vibrantly, things that i.. want, what i desire, or..”

“So.. what do you see now?” Ty's voice was soft, hinting to set the mood. Josh smiled and slid his hands up from the lower part of Tyler's back up to his neck, holding him close. J ran his tongue over Ty's bottom lip, causing the boy to lift the corners of his mouth up. 

As their tongues moved in and out and around each other's mouths, Tyler was the first to make a few scattered whimpering moans. Josh drew a deep breath, trying to keep his cool, the noises the younger boy was making driving him absolutely crazy.

Josh worked his way away from Tyler’s lips and reconnected to his neck, spacing out soft, wet kisses over his skin.

“Can i make marks?” Josh asked in a more raspy voice than he usually had. Tyler would have denied it, but seeing Josh in this state was so fucking hot, he couldn't say no.

Tyler sat up and grabbed opposite sides at the bottom of the hoodie and pulled it up over his head, revealing his smooth skin that was beginning to pale due to the season change and lack of tanning. 

Ty looked down at Josh, who bit down hard on his inner lip, and responded breathily. 

“Go crazy.” 

Josh didn't hesitate and quickly sat up, attached his lips to a spot on Ty's shoulder, kissing before sucking, which came before biting and massaging with his teeth, Tyler let his head roll back and low moans vibrate his body. 

A short moment later, Josh felt vibration on his right leg, Tyler feeling it on his left. He reached into his pocket with a frustrated groan, seeing his brother's name appear on the screen. He quickly declined the call and tossed his phone to the side of the bed. 

“Who was that?” Josh questioned.

Ty shook his head, setting a hand on the back of J's and pulling him back to his skin. “it's no one.. please, just..”

“Don't worry, baby boy, i'll take care’a you.” Tyler hummed and smiled, pressing his lips against the boy he longed for. When he pulled away he couldn't help but try and slow down the spinning world around them, taking a moment to study Josh's face.

“I can't believe this.. five days ago i never would have thought..”

“And now, here we are.” J smiled and quickly kissed Ty. 

“Yeah.. here we are.. do you.. think we're moving too fast?”

“If you think we are, we can stop?”

“I know, but.. i don't want to stop.. not yet? You're a damn good at this.” Ty but his lip to contain his light laughter. Josh rested his forehead on the other boy's, grinning and barely shaking his head.

“You're so cute, Ty.” Soft kisses were beginning to be spread across the younger boy's chest once again, causing a feeling of bliss to wash over his entire body. 

Tyler felt he was sitting too still, felt like he should be moving somehow, so he did. His hips slowly began rotating and grinding down every few moments, keeping a steady pace as Josh worked on Ty's chest, leaving purple and green marks all over. 

Josh couldn't hold in a growl, squeezing harder on the skin he already had between his teeth, causing Tyler to let out a loud noise of pain. It alarmed Josh, so he pulled away and immediately did his best to soothe the spot.

“Ty? Tyler are you all right? Does it hurt too bad?” Josh was practically panicking, his heart ached knowing he was the reason Tyler made such a noise. 

“I'm fine, Jay, i am. Gonna leave a hell of a mark, though.”

“I'm so sorry, Ty, i'm sor-”

“Josh, calm down! Please!” Ty was laughing lightly, holding Josh's face. 

“But Ty-”

“No, Josh, it doesn't hurt that bad any more, please just calm down, baby.”

That was new to both of them. Tyler never used cute little names like that, and no one really used them referring to Josh, It felt good to both of them, made Josh not feel so bad, actually made him smile.

“Let's.. maybe slow down a little, b-before this goes anywhere else?” Tyler suggested. J agreed, seeing where Ty was coming from. Things between the two were picking up speed, having only known each other for five days, they should tap the brakes a little.

“What time is it, anyway?” Tyler asked, scooting off Josh and searching for the sweatshirt he had just slipped off.

“Quarter to three, why?” 

“Oh my god. Don't tell me today's Tuesday?” He turned around to face Josh, pulling the hoodie down to his hips with a panicked expression.

“Uhm.. y-yeah, yeah it is. Ty? What is it?” The older boy sat up and drew his brow closer.

“Shoot!” He groaned, hopping up to quickly change from the sweatpants to his jean.

“Tyler, please what's-”

“Basketball. I play basketball. And I have practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays, sometimes Friday's and my dad's the coach and i'm late because i'm at a hot guy's house making out with him. See the issue here?”

“Well.. i see that you're late and threats bad but i don't see an issue with.. us..”

Ty's heart broke as he saw the bright sky boy fade into a deep ocean whose waves were being broken, as if something were hitting them.

“Josh, no, that's.. that's not what i meant. I really, genuinely like you. I.. I don't know, i'm really sorry.. i honestly don't know how to recover from that..”

“It's fine, Ty. I promise. You need a ride back to school?” He offered. Tyler accepted with a smile.

\--

“So how long’ve you been playing basketball?” Josh asked as he turned the wheel slowly to the right, heading down another road closer to school.

“I don't know. A while, i guess. Dad's always dreamt of having a prodigal son, the star player, scholarships left and right.”

“Doesn't seem like you're too into it, Ty.”

The boy in question shrugged, turning to face the blurring world go by through the glass. “No, don't get me wrong, I love playing basketball, a lot, actually. It's just, i can't.. I can't see myself doing this for the rest of my life, Josh.”

“Well, if it helps any, you won't technically be playing it for the rest of your life. Any major league sports players generally retire young, yanno. You'll still have half of your life to do anything and everything you've wanted.”

Tyler rolled his head to face Josh. “Jay.. I don't think..”

“What, Ty? What don't you think?” Tyler sighed and gave the older boy a weak smile, honestly trying his best. 

“I don't know what i was thinking. i don't think i was thinking at all.”

“For a guy who's known for being stuck in his thoughts, you don't seem to think a lot.”

Tyler didn't know how to take that. Josh's tone didn't seem to be negative in any way. He didn't make any effort to make a witty comeback, just stared at Josh.

“Can we.. forget everything that happened after we.. m-made out? I haven't really worded anything too well and.. i don't want things to be so awkward.”

As J pulled up to the front of the school property, he put the car in park and looked at Ty with that grin, the grin that was as wide as the ocean, however, just like the sea, it only reflected the sunshinemy . He must be facing the night sky, then.

“You got it, piano man. I'll see you tomorrow, then?” Ty smiled and nodded, placing a quick kiss to Josh's cheek. 

“Yeah, definitely. See you in the morning, drummer boy.”

The younger boy grabbed his back and hopped out of the truck, jogging quickly to the gymnasium. Josh watched him the whole time. the young boy was swift, he's obviously been athletic most of his life. When he couldn't see Ty anymore, the ocean blue boy put his truck in gear and headed for the books store he worked at.


	9. moonlight on the pier

Tyler cursed under his breath as he jogged into the gymnasium, seeing everyone on the team, except his father.

“Zack, where's dad?” He panted when he reached his brother, who was jogging in place, building up a sweat.

Tyler got no answer from his brother, which was incredibly strange. He tried once more, but he was still ignored. 

“Fine. Mr Lawrence, have you seen coach?”

“Your dad? No, didn't catch where he ran off to. Now go get changed, you're late.”

So Tyler did, he walked back to the locker room. He heard things being tossed, or dropped? 

“Hello?” he called. no answer. 

when he got to his own locker, the culprit was revealed.

“Dad?”

“Oh, look who finally decided to show up to practice.”

“I'm only twenty mi-”

“It's been thirty, Tyler. And not only are you late, but you're late on the first day of practice of this season!”

“I'm sorry, dad, I was with-” Tyler stopped himself. His dad didn't know Josh, and Ty already knew when his strict eyes landed on the boy as bright as the sky above, he'd move the Joseph family across the state.

“Who? Who were you with? Where did you go?”

“I- I-I went down to the library with Debby..”

His father slammed the locker and shook his head. “One more time, and you're out for the season.” The big man rushed out of the locker room, and as soon as the furthest slammed shut behind him, Tyler fell to his knees.

Tyler calmed himself down, changed and jogged out of the locker room. He had to run double the laps around the school property and couldn't leave until he made 50 consecutive shots.

\--

Dinner was hell for Tyler that night. His father took his meal into his work room and left the rest of them at the family table in silence. After dinner it was even worse for Ty. He got a shower, had a few thoughts, waited until those thoughts subsided before he got out, and when he returned to his room, Zack started to ask questions. 

“So, Tyler.. Who was that on the phone with you?”

Tyler froze where he stood, didn't move a muscle. His heart was nearly beating out of his chest as panic flooded his senses. 

“Does ‘Josh’ sound familiar?”

“Zack, what.. what did you hear?”

“I heard enough.”

Zack, you- y-you can't tell dad, or mom, o-or anyone else. Please, I.. Zack, i can see.. the colors.. when i'm with him.” 

Zack was honestly baffled by his brother's words. “You.. You seriously do?”

Tyler nodded, biting on his lip to keep everything in.

“Tyler.. I'm.. does that mean he's your..?”

He nodded again, a smile forcing itself onto his lips. 

“So.. please just.. don't tell anyone, not yet..”

Zack sighed and leaned back against the wall as he sat on his bed, arms crossed.

“I won't tell but.. Ty, this is just.. it's weird..”

Tyler wanted to ask what was so weird about it, he wanted to defend Josh, defend himself against his seemingly homophobic brother, even still, he knew nothing would change how his brother viewed things. So he just softly nodded, dressed himself and crawled under the covers of his bed, thinking about the boy that's causing the tension in just about every aspect of his life at this point. 

\--

Hours had passed, Tyler's entire family was asleep. except for him, of course. He was sad. and he missed josh. he was over thinking about his family, their reactions if he ever told them that he saw the world in Josh. 

What does it mean when you've known a person for five days and now you're awake at 1 am thinking about them?

He couldn't keep his mind off of Josh. So he texted said boy.

tyjo: you awake?

juiceua dun: i'm actually just leaving work. i'm in my truck. why?

Tyler wasn't sure what came over him, but he smiled and began to type.

tyjo: i can't sleep

tyjo: i can't stop thinking about you

it was a few seconds before he got a response back from the deep ocean boy.

juiceua dun: oh really?

tyjo: yeah.. could you pick me up?

juiceua dun: you won't get caught?

tyjo: i'll sneak out the window

juiceua dun: and i trust you won't fall?

tyjo: do you not want to see me?

juiceua dun: don't be silly

juiceua dun: i'll be there in 10

Tyler grinned and quietly hopped out of his bed, put on a loose shirt and his sneakers. Now the tricky part. he took a deep breath and approached the window, slowly unlocking it so no noise was made. When he slid it up, he knew there was a certain spot where it squeaked if pulled up too fast, so he took as much time as he needed. 

Tyler was thrilled when he got the window opened and decided to just keep it open until he got back, seeing as the outside temperature was nearly the same as inside the house.

Ty stepped out onto the roof and embraced the moonlight with a smile. it was bright tonight, about ¾ of the moon was shining, a waning gibbous, the believed. The light illuminating it was a bright silvery white, the blue of the sky tinting it every so softly.

He saw lights make themselves known down the road, so he assumed it was Josh. The younger boy reached out for the closest branch of the tree by the roof and swung down to the next below him and the next after that, until he was roughly seven feet above the ground and dropped. 

Tyler rubbed his arms as a small chilly gust of wind blew through, rustling the falling leaves of the trees around the neighborhood. Josh pulled up in front of the house, the passenger side facing Tyler. the younger boy hurried inside and smiled at the scent of the truck, already becoming familiar to Tyler's nose.

“Hey, piano man.” Ty laughed softly, the features of his face accentuated in the moonlight. 

“So where we headed?” J asked as he pulled away, heading down Ty's street that he'll soon become familiar with. 

“There's a-a park just down the road, first left then second right after that.”

“You got it.” 

\--

No one was at the park, of course. who would go to a park at 1 am? 

Tyler sighed softly as he opened the truck door, wishing he'd at least worn a longsleeve instead of an old, thin rag of a shirt. Josh met him at the hood of the car, both remaining silent.

Josh wanted to ask Tyler if he was alright, and he wanted to help out if he wasn't. However, he figured the best thing he could do was take Tyler's left hand in his right and let their feet take them away. 

The park was beautiful tonight. more so than usual. Tyler had practically lived here for most of his life. he only stopped visiting after freshman year, and as he thinks back on it, he's not sure why, exactly.

The first part of the park was level with the road and parking lot. there was a playground complete with two slides and six swings, a horse, a duck and a whale on springs, and a large sand pit on the opposite side of the parking lot. 

the second area of the park was accessible by two sets of steps at each far end of the park. the steps brought you to a neat dirt path made for hiking. however, if you didn't want to hike, just walk across the path and you'd find yourself under a roof that covered a few long tables with benches under them. even further was a large pond, and towards the middle was bridge arching over. there was a small pier just ahead, and it seemed like that was where Tyler was leading to.

They sat down on the aging wood and watched the moon reflect on the water that was as smooth as glass. Josh leaned against one of the columns that held the pier up and closed his eyes, letting the noises and smells surround him blissfully. 

He opened his eyes to see a small boy in front of him, the boy's knees drawn close to his chest and his chin resting on his arms that were crossed on those knees. He was looking up at the sky, the sky that hid its stars from the curious boy. Then his eyes fell shut and his body became still. he didn't want to disturb the boy as he relaxed his usually tense nerves, no, but he wanted to help comfort him, possibly bring more peace upon him.

“Tyler..” He whispered softly, barely making a sound among the whirring wind. But the boy's eyes opened and he turned his head around, his body following through.

“Yeah?”

Josh simply opened his arms up and Tyler knew exactly where to go. They situated themselves to where tyler was comfortably leaning up against Josh as he sat in his lap, his legs hanging over one of Josh's.

Ty observed Josh's face, the shape of his nose, how it curved almost like a beak, and how his own bent the opposite way, he imagined how perfectly they could fit if they were at the right angle. 

His eyes moved down to the older boy's lips, however they didn't stay there for too long, bringing themselves over to his hair blending in with the moonlight. He took a as many strands of hair that included themselves in a loose and slightly frizzy curl and twirled it around his finger. Tyler didn't do much else except that for a while, and Josh couldn't do anything but softly rub Ty's thigh and smile, in a state of complete bliss. 

“Tyler..” The younger boy's soft eyes made their way groggily up to the blue boy's. 

“Yeah, Josh?” His voice was as subtle as the waves in the water of the pond. Josh swiftly moved his left hand up to Tyler's face, brushing his fingertips along his cheek, down his jaw and stopping at his chin. With his index and middle finger, josh tilted Tyler's head up and slowly closed the gap between their lips. 

Suddenly a spark ignited inside Tyler. He was a bright flame, and Josh could see that, whereas Ty could only feel the heat resonating deep within him, fueled by the boy that he thought would extinguish the flame. 

Even with these feelings they both felt, the kissed remained gentle and small, however, it left a large impact. 

They pulled their lips away at the same time, Tyler's eyes found something interesting to stare at on the pier while Josh kept his gaze on the boy's eyes that had seemed to’ve gotten brighter.

“Tyler?” Last two times Josh said the boy's name something drastic happened, so it wasn't an odd thing that Tyler felt a little nervous to see what's in store this time. The younger boy looked up and hummed in response.

“What did you want, Jay?” Josh only smiled, shrugging a moment later.

“i honestly just wanted to say your name.” Tyler blushed and pushed Josh's shoulder, his face lighting up as he laughed. 

“Josh!” there was quiet between the two for a few moments, until Josh spoke again.

“Tyler?”

“Josh, if you say my name again, i swear-”

“no, I need to ask you something, Tyler.”

Panic set in immediately in Tyler. he didn't like when people told him things like that. are they going to accuse him of something? 

“Wh-what is it?” Josh could not only feel Tyler's panicked heartbeat, but anyone could clearly see it in his eyes.

“No, no, no it's not bad, i promise. No, i was just gonna.. I wanted to ask if.. I want to take you on a date, a real one, but i wanted to know if that'd be alright with you, first.”

Tyler grinned, unable to keep a small laugh to himself, and held josh's face in his hands. 

“Yes, yes i'd love that. so much.” His response made the completely exhausted blue-haired boy beam in the moonlight, ecstatic that he could now take Tyler on a real date.

“What did you have in mind?” Ty asked. He hasn't been on a date in almost a year, so getting to go on one again, especially with someone who's already made such an impact on his life, excited him to no end. 

“Well, i've had a few ideas, and i'm guessing you wanna hear what they are, even though i wanted them to be a surprise.”

Tyler pouted. he wanted to hear the ideas but he knew Josh wanted to surprise him. He sighed.

“Fine, surprise me.”

Josh smiled and hugged Tyler tighter, stuffing his face into the younger boy's neck, trying his best to tickle the boy he held. Ty's laughter filled the air, and he wondered how he got so lucky to meet such a positive soul, the one he was destined to be with for as long as they both continued to breath. 

Tyler had been laughing so hard that when he tossed his head back, him and Josh both fell back. Josh still had one arm around - now under - Tyler and one that bent at his elbow and propped him up above the other boy. 

Their laughter softened until both realized how close their faces were. Josh's hair fell and softly brushed Ty's face. Tyler brought a hand up to Josh's face and brought their lips together. They softly broke away and reconnected, their wide smiles evident.

After moments of bliss, Josh picked Tyler up as he sat back, pulling the taller boy up into his lap. 

“Guess i should be getting home soon.. i appreciate you bringing me here, Jay.”

“Gosh, i love when you call me that, Ty.”

Tyler moved until his was no longer sitting in Josh's lap practically bridal style and instead now sitting with his back pressed against the older boy's chest. Ty took both of Josh's hands into each of his own and wrapped his arms around himself. 

Tyler tried to keep himself awake, keeping the thought of ‘we have to go i have to go home’ on his mind, but ultimately failed, letting his eyes flutter shut, allo big him to drift into a soft sleep. 

After a few minutes of stillness, Josh tried his best to get a good look at the boy in his lap to see if he had fallen asleep or not. But to him it honestly didn't matter, he could stay here till sunrise if he could, though he knew tyler had to get home otherwise he'd get into major trouble with his folks. He figured he'd just wake Ty up when they absolutely needed to leave, if the boy didn't wake up before then.

\--

The week had gone by slow for both of the two boys. Tyler's father was working him hard in basketball practice, which left the boy drained and exhausted, very little creativity left for writing and performing. 

Ty and Josh barely had time to see each other, either Ty had practiced and was too tired or Josh and work. They just were out of sync ever since they went to the park syringe twilight hours. 

Even still, the day came. The day that Josh would pick Tyler up and take him out on their first official date. The older boy cleaned up as nice as he could, wearing a plaid button down under a zip up jacket. He wanted to slick back his hair but when he did, it didn't look right to himself so he started over, washed his hair again and left his place as quick as possible, aware he was cutting it close.

Finally, about 26 minutes after 6pm, Josh pulled up in front of Tyler's house. He had debated on the drive here if he wanted to go up to the door and risk his parents’ questioning, or just text the boy, saying he's here. Ultimately, Josh's polite gentleman side pushed through until he was making his way up the pathway to the front door. 

He took a deep breath before loving four times on the door. It was unlocked and opened a moment later by an older man, one Josh was sure he's seen around school before. His heart started to race, this man terrified him and he definitely didn't look like the kind of guy to allow his behaved son to hang out with some kid who had a mohawk. Josh could only hope the man didn't see colors, but he wouldn't want to know what the man thought of his hair.

“H-hello, sir, uhm.. I'm here for Tyler- i'm his friend, Tyler's friend, Josh. Joshua Dun.” the nervous boy held his hand out, respectfully offering to shake ty's father’s hand. the older man accepted and firmly grasped his hand, giving it a shake before inviting him inside. 

“Tyler's upstairs, he'll be down in a minute.” Josh nodded with a smile, rubbing the palms of his hands on his thighs. “No need to be nervous, son. Now when did you and Tyler meet? He hasn't said a thing about making a new friend, this is some good news.”

Josh smiled, noticing how genuinely happy it made the man to hear his son, who usually spent his days alone, now has someone to be around, instead of constantly being by himself in his damaging thoughts. 

“I'm sorry to hear that, mr. joseph, and i can assure you i'll be here for him.” the older man smiled and nodded approvingly, mouthing a ‘thank you’ as Tyler came hopping down the steps, glowing once his eyes met with Josh's.

“Hey, Joshie.” The grin on Ty's face ignited all sorts of yellows and oranges and pinks throughout Josh's vision, creating beautiful colors around them. 

Tyler looked so nice tonight, even though it was clear he hadn't done much else than he usually does. His hair seemed fluffier and skin more smooth and glowing. maybe he kept a better posture. whatever it was, Josh was in awe, speechless. 

“Boys? Hello?” Mr. joseph said, regaining their attention. “Now boys, where do you plan on going tonight? When are you gonna get home, Ty?” 

the two turned to Josh, pinning the spotlight on him since he's the only one with the answers. 

“Well, i wanted to go see this new movie and probably head to dinner or my place for a little bit. Ill have him back by ten thirty, sir.”

“No later than, you hear me, boys?”

“yessir.” the two said simultaneously before heading out the front door


	10. First Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably the worst chapter of this story but i hope you guys enjoy it anyhow

Tyler was excited to see what Josh had in store for their first date, hoping it wasn't what the boy had told his father. Though, until then. all Ty could do i look out the window, watching the world go by, and occasionally look over at Josh as he drove.

It was around 5pm and seeing as the sun was ready to set in about an hour, Tyler had suspicions about that relating to the date. 

“You can't even give me a hint?” Tyler asked, repositioning himself to face Josh better, who smiled and shook his head.

“Nope. You're not a surprise kinda guy, are you, Ty?”

“When it comes to driving me somewhere, no, not really.”

“Well, you might wanna get used to it.”

“Or, i'll just not go anywhere with you anymore.”

Josh shrugged. “You're choice, baby boy.”

“Don't do that.”

“Don't do what?”

“Call me names like that. You're not allowed unless you tell me where we're going.”

“Tyler. Please, calm down. I'm falling hard and fast for you, so there's no reason for me to cause you harm, alright?” As they came to a red light, Josh looked over at Tyler and took one of his hands and brought it up to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on his knuckles. 

“I just wanted to plan something nice and not generic for our first date, and i wanted to surprise you, but if you really wanna know, then i'll tell you.”

Tyler looked at Josh for a minute with a mock frustrated expression before rolling his eyes.

“Fine, you don't have to tell me this time. I trust you enough.”

Josh beamed. “I'm glad.” he brought up Ty's hand once more for another soft kiss to the skin. The drive wasn't too long after that, only about five more minutes. It was the same park that Josh had brought Tyler to the other day when they cuddled and spent the night. Josh had backed the truck into the spot they occupied last time and shut the truck off.

“Now, Tyler, i gotta ask you a big favor. Think you can keep your eyes closed for a few minutes for me?”

With a sigh, Tyler complied. “Fine, even though it does sound quite sketchy.” Josh grinned bigger than usual on purpose, causing his eyes to squint shut. 

“You're the best, Tyjo. Now close ‘em.” Tyler closed them and before Josh hopped out the truck, he leaned over and kissed Ty.

“Hey!” Tyler yelled said after Josh broke away, quickly jumping out. 

“Eyes!” Josh yelled back. The younger boy sighed and sat back, his eyes shut closed, waiting for the signal to open them.

While Ty sat back, Josh ran around getting the things he had brought over earlier that day, like the taco bell he had bought and the blankets he now had to lay on the bed of his truck. He opened the bag of all the things after he laid the blankets down and set all the food down on one side of the truck bed. As he took out the nachos, a small pack fell out of the bag. 

Brendon and Josh had been talking yesterday, which probably wasn't the best decision on Josh's part, and Brendon gave him a spare condom to Josh, telling him to constantly keep one on him. Josh already knew that, but it's only their first date, he's not so sure Tyler would want to do anything on the first date. 

He sighed and stuffed the pack in his pocket until he was finished setting up, and when he went around to Tyler's side, he opened the door and quickly stored the pack in the glove compartment.

“Josh, what are you doing? Can i open my eyes yet?” Tyler asked as he heard and felt Josh practically slam the glove compartment close. 

“Yeah, you can now, baby boy.” when Tyler opened his eyes, he first saw Josh standing between him and the open car door with a wide grin. 

“You're a dork.”

“Sure. Now come on.” Josh held his arm up and out like a gentleman, and with a roll of his eyes, Tyler accepted and Josh lead him around to the back. 

“Oh, my god, Josh! This is.. It's so nice..” Tyler smiled brightly as he examined the area Josh set up; christmas lights went from one side of the truck bed around to the other, somehow being lit. There were many layers of blankets, one on top being folded down halfway, in case they wanted to cover up? Josh put his arms around Tyler's waist from behind and cozier his face into the younger boy's shoulder, leaving a few soft kisses as well.

Tyler's smile was so bright, so grateful. He couldn't believe someone would do something so nice yet so simple for him. 

“Josh, i- i don't even know what to say.” The vibrations Ty made as he talked were so nice to Josh, he adored how the felt against his own chest.

“You don't have to say anything, Ty. You should probably eat something. I got you whole bunch’a t-bell.” Josh let Ty go after reaching around and kissing the younger boy's cheek. 

Tyler hopped up on the edge of the truck and took his shoes off, setting them at the edge of the truck before crawling to the back. Josh did the same and joined the younger boy, sitting across from him. 

Tyler couldn't wait to dig in, only waiting until Josh handed him his food to quickly down the cheap chalupas with the aid of the baja blast.

“Glad to see you're enjoying your food.” Tyler nodded and finished not too long after, josh soon followed. The older boy tossed the garbage through the connecting window to the cabin. He sat and rested his back against the window and adjacent to the cabin of the truck and invited Tyler to cuddle up with him. 

“So why are we here, of all places, Joshua?”

“Oh, long names now, huh?” they took a moment to lightly laugh before Josh explained. “Well, not only is it the place where we had our first intimate moment - i don't know - and i was thinking about it; the more intimate we get, touching, and where we touch, makes us see different colors, right? And since we know the sky is blue during the day, what is it like as it sets? i want to find out.”

“Looks like it's like.. pink right now. A little dull but at least there's something.”

“What if there could be more?” Josh looked at Tyler, looked into his eyes, his beautiful brown and green eyes. At this moment both boys felt such a strong, intense feeling in their chests. It drew them closer to each other until there was no space left between. Before either knew it, Josh was the first to make a move, his hand finding its way down over the zipper of Ty's jeans. He gasped and Josh allowed himself further into his mouth, exploring and discovering more. 

the older boy could feel Ty as well as hear him when he made a few whimpering noises, which made J pull away, concerned. 

“Are you okay with this Ty?” the younger boy nodded, even though his face shown his uncertainty. “Please tell me to stop whenever, okay?” Josh kissed him quickly to reassure, then looked back at the boy's face for extra measure.

Ty's thin fingers found the collar of Josh's hoodie and held it tightly, his other hand guiding on of J’s back over his crotch. “J-jay, please just..” The older boy nodded as he connected their lips again and positioned himself so he was sitting in Ty's lap, grinding against the boys crotch. 

As Josh moved his hips he pulled away from Ty's lips, leaving to boy to whine from the withdrawal. “What are you into? Don't hold back, i'm fine with everything, Ty. Pull my hair, slap my ass, god, i don't care, it's hot.” Tyler wasn't sure of what to say, only moaned at Josh's now rough voice. 

“Do you top or bottom, Ty?” Josh slowed his pace however kept the friction well and existent. 

Tyler only stuttered in response, at a loss of words, struck with the inability to answer only because he didn't have one.

“J-Jay, this.. I've never.. n-not with a boy, at least.” Josh smiled, almost a smirk. 

“I'm honored. i'll bottom tonight - unless you want to. I can prep myself, again, unless you'd like to.” Josh cautiously let his hand work at rubbing Tyler until he brought himself to a decision.

“Sh-show me w-w-what to do, Jay. Show m-me and i'll gladly-” the older boy quickly leaned in and made Ty's neck a dance floor for his mouth. J proceeded to take his clothing off one article at a time, only getting his hoodie off, however. His fingers grasped the bottom of his shirt, ready to pull it up and over, when Tyler stopped him. 

The younger boy maneuvered their hands until their fingers intertwined and locked. To them, everything felt so smooth and natural, like tonight is what they were destined for, however their movements were rough and choppy in all reality. but it still felt good, felt right. 

Somehow the tables just turned and Josh was lying on his back with Tyler above him. 

“come on, baby, fuck me up.” J begged with his now rough voice, thrusting his hips up to Ty's. 

“You always this impatient?” 

“No but, fuck, i want you so bad.” Ty grinned as he leaned down to J’s lips. He wasn't sure what to do with his other hand since one kept him from falling. Josh could see he was struggling a little and helped him out, guiding him down and under his shirt, letting him skim his fingers up and down his stomach and chest. 

Ty liked what he felt and he couldn't wait any longer to see what it looked like. His fingers impatiently grabbed at the bottom of J's shirt and pulled it up until they had to break away, finally getting the shirt off and tossed to the side, along with all the rest of his clothes. Tyler had never seen a body so naturally beautiful. He had a blank canvas, and despite having only made art out of sounds, he could make this work and get both sounds and colors out of it. 

Before Tyler returned to Josh's lips, he allowed his eyes time to be fixated on the older boys torso. His mind was running wild with ideas, things he wanted to do to the boy below him. 

“You said anything goes?” Ty asked, his voice as smooth as silk yet rough and rugged at the same time.

Josh nodded hastily and bit his bottom lip, suppressing a moan and making more of a high pitched whine. “Yes, please.. please be as rough as you want, do anything to me, please, Ty.”

“So desperate.. i love it.” Tyler's teeth grazed the skin of the older boy's chest until he found the right spot to begin sucking and squeezing an area of skin until it changed color. He repeated this almost everywhere on the boy's chest, some places more than others. He pulled back so he could look down at the impatient and begging, writhing boy below him. 

“Ty, i.. i wanna taste you.”

“Oh yeah?” Ty teased.

“Shit, don't.. don't..”

“Show me how bad you want it.” Josh didn't hesitate one second before grasping Tyler's hips, lifting him, sliding out from under him and sitting Ty back down to where Josh now knelt between the younger boys legs. Soon, the pants and underwear were off of Tyler's legs, leaving him to feel the chilly breeze and be more self conscious about himself. He could care less, though, since his shirt was still on, covering what he cared most about.

“Shit, Tyler. You're gorgeous.”

Tyler blushed and looked away as josh admired the beautiful body of his love. 

“Can you take your shirt off?” Tyler shook his head quickly. “Please, Ty? We got this far. I wanna see everything.” Tyler hesitated, but complied, letting Josh lift his shirt up over his head. His body was honestly nothing spectacular - neither boy's were. However, to each of them, the other boy was the embodiment of perfection. 

Josh scanned Tyler's body up and down, the natural marks here and there and his fair skin. To J, everything about the boy was breathtaking. 

Without any warning, Josh, while maintaining eye contact, lowered himself until his lips were merely centimeters away from Tyler's cock, before opening his mouth and letting his tongue reach his shaft, grazing, barely touching him, which sent chills through tyler. 

The younger boy had never experienced something like this, no one has ever touched him so delicately or in a way that made his back arch and his body shudder with such pleasure. He bit his lip and tossed his head back, his hands instinctively reaching for the blankets at his sides. As Josh went to take more of Tyler in, he noticed the boy's hands and immediately pulled back.

“That's not gonna fly. Hands, hair, pull. Hard.” He clicked his tongue at Tyler, who then brought his right hand up to Josh's blue hair. Ty clumped the strands into his fist, pulling as hard as he could while trying to be gentle on the boy. 

Josh slowly took in Tyler's length until he hit the back of his throat. Josh tightened his mouth around the boy just enough to get a reaction, which was Ty's grip tightening on his hair. Josh's tongue pressed against the head and swirled around it, leaving Tyler to choke out a throaty moan. Josh repeated this sequence, tightening and swirling, until Ty felt completely hard, which is when he pulled away after leaving more spit layered all over as their only form of lube.

Josh licked his lips free of the precum only when Tyler lifted his head and made eye contact through hooded eyes. 

Josh took a deep breath before lifting himself until he hovered above Ty's cock. J reached down and lined the younger boy up with his hole. 

“Wait-” Ty grabbed josh's hand, leaving him awkwardly hovering, his dick twitching with each passing second. “Don't you need to be prepped?”

“Thought about it. This'll be a better feeling for the both of us.”

“Condom?”

“Fuck no. Doesn't feel good. Now help me position myself.” Tyler reached down to himself, lifted his cock up and aligned himself with Josh. Ty soon figured he only needed one hand to hold himself and used the other to help Josh spread his ass and adjust to the tip. The older boy's breath caught in his throat and his eyes rolled until the lids closed over them. 

“Are you ready?” Ty asked on a shaky exhale. 

“Shit.. yeah, Ty.” Josh lowered himself, a deep moan vibrating through his body into the air. He moved his hips around a little to help ease Ty into him, only stopping when he couldn't take anymore of him in. 

“Boy, i hope you're ready. Anyone ever ride you before?” Ty bit his lip and shook his head. Josh smirked. “All right. try and hold on as long as you can for me.” 

Josh had one hand on Ty's shoulder, the other on his ass. Josh started out slow, finding a rhythm and figuring out where his spot is, having been a while since he's had sex. 

Josh was panting and moaning - a mix of the two - just getting into a fast pace, skin hitting skin and his ass shaking, when Tyler, through gritted teeth, gasps and moans, caught the older boy and stopped him. Quickly, Tyler flipped them, panting as he rolled his hips. Josh bent his head back and wrapped his legs around Tyler's waist lazily, trying to make things more convenient for the boy on top of him. 

“Fuck.. Fuck, Ty, harder.. Fas- shit, faster!” Josh's moaning was wild and more than enough fuel for Tyler to speed up, slamming into Josh's prostate each time. Josh's hands went from digging his nails into Tyler's back and neck, to gripping the blankets below them. 

Josh bit his lip and reached down to touch himself since Tyler was doing much of that, but was stopped by the man himself. Ty brought his hand down to Josh's cock and pumped away, bringing the older boy to his climax. Only seconds later is when he reached his own. Ty tried to pull out, but Josh urged him not to. He didn't have time to fight it so he just let it happen. 

The two breathed heavily next to each other for a few minutes as they situated themselves. Josh got the thick blanket and covered the both of them, leaning back on the pillows he had set up for them. Josh hadn't expected it when Tyler copied up in the corner of the truck bed and pulled Josh to rest against his chest.

Tyler looked at Josh's chest that he wasn't covering, the mediocre marks he's left. Guilt was setting in. What if Josh didn't want his entire fuckig chest covered in this shit. Oh god. Oh god. 

“God, Josh i’m.. crap, i'm sorry.”

“What? Ty, what's wrong? What are you sorry for?” Josh sat up and faced the younger boy, concern shown in his face. 

“your.. your chest, uhm.. Body.. i'm sorry.”

“Ty.. Tyler, no, i love it. I'm gonna flaunt this. You.. Tyler, you've made me so happy since we met. The happiest i have been in.. in years..” Josh was beaming, his smile and eyes brighter than the remaining rays of sunlight or the christmas lights strung around the truck. “Tyler.. W-will you be my boyfriend?” 

“holy shit.. Oh, my god Josh.. yes.. Crap, of course, yes!” Josh grinned and pounced up, climbing on top of tyler and cupping his face, their lips connected until their grins were too strong and broke free for a second, before reconnecting and repeating. Tylers arms wrapped low around Josh's back, the boy's warm skin pressed against his own cold arms. 

They remained close for what seems like hours, but it honestly was only around a half hour, nothing but smiles the whole time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like i said, it's shitty. i bullshitted a lot of it so i could give you guys something, next chapter i'm hoping will be good and juicy and dramatic. stay tuned.
> 
> \- charlie


	11. nicotine

TW // abuser/past abuse/abusive relationship . things get a little rough and a little soft 

 

Tyler stayed over Josh's into sunday morning, where they woke in J's bed and made out for a good while, went two more rounds until Tyler's mother was furious for him missing church and called him home. Tyler had no bruises on his neck, but, damn, if only you could see his chest and thighs. He had no room to talk, though. Josh's neck and chest was a damn mess. Some marks he left were purple, some were mixed with green and some were pink and somewhat pale. 

School the next day was definitely an experience. People could only suspect things when they saw Josh neck, nothing was set in stone as to whom left the dark marks on Josh's neck. 

However, at lunch, one person was seething in his own rage. 

Tyler and Josh sat next to each other, like always, while Debby, her friend, Brendon, Alex and Rian sat around the table, all in their own conversations. All except Brendon, who sat hunched over, eyes low, and knuckles squeezing into a fist so tight they were turning white. Josh noticed and grew concerned for his friend sat directly across the table.

“Hey, Bren, you okay?”

“Fine.” he simply stated, no hint to his attitude in his voice; it was completely monotone. Josh thought it best if he not push the boy any further. 

The bell rang a few moments later, which sent Josh and Ty to their last class of the day. The teacher saw Josh and immediately knew who did it to him, and although shocked he had gotten so far in just two weeks, gave him a single slow nod, congratulating him. 

\--

“Can i come over tonight?” Ty asked as the two boys walked to Josh's truck. 

“Can't. i have work tonight. And tomorrow and thursday. Might work saturday night, too.”

Tyler let out a whine and tossed his head back. “Whyyyy.”

“Well, i mean, if you want me to keep buying you taco bell and taking you on dates i got to go. otherwise, i'll quit aaand you can pay for all of that.” 

“You suck.”

“You would know.” Tyler's face turned a dark shade quicker than before and landed a punch to Josh's arm. 

“God, you're the worst.” Tyler said with easy laughter.

“Best you've ever had, though.”

“Yeah, whatever. Get outta here.”

“Alright, babe.” Josh snuck his arm around Tys waist and craned his neck up to kiss him goodbye, taking the younger boy by surprise. As much as Ty wanted to protest against this, he couldn't do anything expect melt into the boy's touch.

When they pulled away Tyler sighed. “You can't be doing that so much, Jay.”

“Why not?” 

“Because, Josh. If my dad or brother sees it, i won't be able to see you anymore.”

Josh gave a defeated frown and sighed, letting Ty's had slip out of his. 

“I gotta get going, Ty.”

“Josh, come on. Don't be mad.”

“I'm not mad.”

Tyler caught Josh's hand as he began to walk around to the driver side door,  
stopping him almost immediately. Ty kissed the boy quickly before wrapping his arms around the boy.

“I didn't mean it like that. I like your affection, i'm just a little paranoid. i don't want to be taken away from you like that if my family found out.” Ty kissed the top of the boy's head and ruffled his hair, earning some laughter from him. 

“Better now?” Tyler asked. They stood a few inches from each other now, both ready to go on about their afternoons. Josh shrugged, teasing Ty.

“Yeah, i guesso. Go shoot some hoops or something.” With that, Josh hopped in his truck and Tyler jogged to his house, exercising himself for the upcoming season. 

\--

1 a.m. rolled around and Josh was closing up for the night, locking the doors and heading back to his car. That's when metaphorical shit hit the metaphorical fan. 

“Josh.” The person in question whipped around and faced the deep voice behind him. He felt relieved when he saw a dark figured Brendon standing there, smoke creeping out from his lips, however, when he figured his intentions, he was anything but relieved.

“Josh, we need to talk.”

“Brendon, i have nothing to talk about.”

“Oh i think- we do.” He said, a quick paused in between to motion at the both of them.

“What is there to talk about, Brendon?”

“The way you fucking walked out on me three fucking year ago.”

“I walked out because you're an abusive, manipulative piece of shit.” their voices had grown loud, sharp in the cool quietness of the september night.

“i fucking love you, Josh.” this is the loudest Josh had ever heard Brendon get. and after those words, nothing. Just silence. that sentence had echoed throughout the lot and seem to keep doing so in Josh's mind.

Brendon's voice was soft and low, Josh could barely hear what he had to say. “i.. fucking.. loved you.. so.. god damn much.. i showed you, everyday, the way i felt for you..” 

“Maybe you should have thought about that before you came to my house, pissface-drunk and beat the shit out of me. Multiple occasions.”

Brendon was speechless. he had nothing to defend himself from those facts. 

“I told you, Bren, it's- it's- we are.. through. I'm not doing this anymore. I've found the love of my life, and i am not screwing this up.”

“Love.. of your life?” Brendon’s voice was scared and soft, he was heartbroken.

“Yeah. It's uh.. It's.. Tyler..” Josh's heart warmed at the sound of his love’s name on his tongue. “We can both see the colors in each other. I am not going to fuck this up.”

“Josh, please..” Brendon's voice cracked in his throat, barely audible. His knees nearly gave way below him, his chest hurting - aching - at the same instance. 

He took a step closer, urging the boy to take half a step back in the same direction. 

“No, Josh, wait.” Brendon reached out, stepping closer and closer to the stunned blue haired boy, frozen in his tracks. 

“Brendon, don't-”

“Please.” Slowly, Brendon took Josh's hands, his touch gentle, his eyes taking their time to observe the creases in his palms. Josh, wide-eyed and terrified, didn't take his own eyes away from Brendon's, afraid he'd do something if he looked away. However, when Brendon brought his gaze up to meet J’s, it was like the world stood still, with a frigid wind wrapping around the two. 

“Josh.. I love you.. so much. i just-”

“You had your chance, Brendon. I.. I don't know what else to tell you.”

“One more time. Come on.”

Josh scoffed and backed away, pulling his hands from Brendon's gentle grip. It's not a grasp Josh had felt before from Bren, no, usually it was rough and unwelcoming. Brendon took a few swift steps towards Josh, putting his hand on the boys hip, his other hand cupping J’s face. 

Time stood still, suddenly. Josh was frozen in his tracks, terrified of what the older boy would do to him. Their eyes wouldn't look away from the others’, each fixated on how bright their usually dark eyes were. Josh could see the richness of the brown in Brendon's whereas in Josh's iris’, the green was prominent in the light cast by the street lamp. 

Brendon closed the gap in between their lips. his weren't as tough as they had been before, Josh noticed. He could still remember when they weren't the softest, he never liked how they felt, because he knew that whatever happened next wasn't going to be good. He wasn't sure how to feel now. Brendon seemed to be a very different guy than what he used to be, even his lips seemed to have changed. Did Josh really break his heart?

Brendon wasn't pushing, wasn't increasing his speed, wasn't too eager. Just, a soft and innocent kiss being given, shared. Josh closed his eyes and reluctantly relaxed in Brendon's embrace. Josh's hands found his hips and rested there. 

Brendon pulled away softly and slowly, resting his forehead on the slightly taller boys’. Josh could hear him breathing; he was anxious and panicky, fearful. 

“What's wrong, Bren?” He asked, knowing all too well what was wrong. Brendon's hand slid down to Josh's neck, his thumb moving and rubbing the bruised skin.

“I lost you. it was my fault, and i lost you. I just wanted to let you know that i'm sorry.”

“Bren, i know yo-”

“Josh. I mean it. I'm not drunk-”

“You're high.”

“I- i know.. But you know pot makes me a better guy, Jay.”

“i don't know that. You drank or were already wasted almost every time you smoked, how the fuck am i supposed to know any goddamn thing?” Brendon assuming that Josh actually knew he was a good guy at some point was laughable and it pissed him off. 

“Please-”

“No more fucking begging, Brendon! I am so.. tired of it..” Josh went from shouting as loud as he could to barely whispering, his voice cracking at some point. He was shaking, the salty tears finally making an entrance on his face as he hugged himself and rubbed his arms.

“First, i waited for you, and you beat me. So i left. And i.. fucking came back. And there was my first mistake.”

“no..”

“I came back to you because i loved you, and you sti-ill hurt m-me. I'm happy now, brendon, and here you come again, trying to complicate my life..”

“Just one more time, let me su-”

“No. I love you, i care for you, but not like i used to. Now please, just go home.”

“Josh, wait-”

“I'll see you around.” Josh muttered, quickly walking around the older boy to get to his truck. Josh wasted no time getting out of the parking lot, out of sight. 

\--

School the next day was like any other B day. Josh didn't see Tyler and only saw Brendon during third period. He ignored the older boy, as usual, and continued with his class work. Brendon didn't try starting conversation like he usually did, Josh figured he was too embarrassed from last night. 

Class was about halfway through when the teacher got everyone's attention. “So i'll be assigning the class a book and throughout you'll need to partner with somebody and discuss it, chapter by chapter. i trust you all will follow through with this and get it done. otherwise your grade will tank.” 

Almost predictably, everyone found a partner except for Brendon and Josh. What a coincidence. 

“God dammit.” Josh said, slouching further in his seat and dropping the pen on the desk. 

Class went on and the two didn't converse, while the rest of class kept the room at a very loud volume. Josh didn't want to talk to Brendon, who stayed quiet  
with a sigh anyways.

The teacher came around to them to check on their progress, however, was faced with two disappointing boys sat in a clearly awkward silence. She pulled up a chair, spun it around and leaned on the back rest, facing the two.

“Boys, what's going on. Come on, you need to get this done. It's the first major unit of the year, don't start it out with a bullshit grade.”

“Yes ma'am.” Brendon said, giving her a subtle respectful nod. She looked to Josh and sighed. 

“Hey, i know you're new here, but ya gotta get goin’, son. Get to Brendon. He's not a bad kid,” Josh nearly called bs aloud, “at least not in this class. Make some friends, Joshua.” With that, she tapped on his desk twice before getting up and going back to her desk.

“You fuck her too for a good name?” Josh spat coldly.

“No, i haven't, Josh. I've barely had sex since April.”

“That's hard to fucking believe.”

“Well believe it. I'm not lying anymore.”

“Do you think ‘not lying’ is going to change anything?” Josh had realize he got a little loud, though he only caught the attention of two kids.

“I don't care if it changes anything between us, Josh. Sorry i want to try and be a better person than i was.” Something in his voice changed, Josh noticed it. The boy sounded sincere(for the first time ever). It kinda hurt Josh knowing he'd been a dick to Brendon, who proabably is trying to change. “Listen, can we put this shit aside and get this done? I want to get a decent grade on it and english isn't my strength.”

A few moments pass of silence, Josh feeling sympathy, before he could come from his attitude and get some work done.

“What all do we have to read tonight?”

\--

Class ended and Josh offered to walk Brendon out to their cars. 

“Want to head to my place? We gotta work on this thing some more.” Brendon nodded with a warm smile.

“Sounds good.”

As they were walking, eyes focused on the ground - or really anything other than each other - a slim kid came running up to Josh, slowing as he got to the older boy. The kid startled and stopped him, though Josh knew who it was as soon as their lips connected. Josh smiled into it and put an arm around his waist. 

“You scared me, Tyjo.” Both were laughing lightly, happy to see each other after a long day apart. 

“i saw you and thought i'd catch you before practice. Hey Brendon.” the youngest boy waved to the oldest, who returned with a nod. “Gotta go. See you later, Jay.”

Josh and Bren continued walking their way and Ty went off in the direction of the gym. The whole interaction kicked Brendon in the balls, he didn't like Tyler for the sole reason that he's got Josh and Bren doesn't. He doesn't doubt Tyler's a good kid, but you know how it is.

“Just follow me there - unless you have to get something from wherever.”

“No, i've got my weed with me, don't need much else.”

Josh stopped as they reached their cars, facing brendon with an are-you-kidding-me face. “You're going to do this assignment high?”

“Nope. We~ are going to do this assignment high.”

“i stopped that after i left you, Bren.”

“Fine. But i'm still gonna hit.”

“Do whatever.” They split and got into their vehicles, and Josh led the way to his motel room. 

\--

“Didn't think you'd be living at a motel. Do they even allow that?” Brendon asked as they walked up to the front door, bags slung over their shoulders. Brendon had a half smoked blunt between his fingers and finished as quickly as he could as Josh searched for his house key on the ring.

“As long as i'm paying they don't give a shit.” Josh unlocked and opened the door, allowing Brendon through first. “Shoes by the door.”

Brendon nodded and complied, slipping his new adidas shoes off next to the closet door. He then turned and walked slowly further into the apartment, examining the place. 

“It's nice here, Jay. Homey.”

“Sure. Don't call me Jay.”

“Why not?”

“Only-”

“Ohhh, only ~Tyler~ can call you Jay.” Brendon exaggerated his voice as he said he youngest boys name, as well as moved his hands about above his head. 

“Don't be a dick.”

“Hey,” Bren turned to Hash and held his hands up as if he was surrendering, “let's not make accusations. I'm not the only dick here. You've been an asshole, too, babe.”

“Cut the flirting shit out. I know i'm an asshole but i'm trying not to be.”

“Trying not to be an ass? To who? Everyone except me?” Both boys were starting to get defensive, each getting closer but keeping their distance at the same time.

“No one around here's been an ass to me except you, of course i'm not gonna treat you the same.”

“This whole time that you've been here i've done nothing to you except try and apologize. Even then and get shoved away and treated like shit. You think you're the only one allowed to change? I fucking know i wasn't a good guy but i want to make it up to you. God fucking damn.” His voice cracked, multiple times, in fact, as he spoke. 

He wanted to sit down, let out a frustrated sigh and proceed to have a mental breakdown that exposed how broken his heart was, however, Brendon didn't want to be rude. So, instead, he just stood there, unsure of what to do. He thought about moving past Josh, grab his shoes and book it, but even then he was afraid the younger boy would hit him or do whatever to him.

‘Fuck it’ josh thought and quickly went up to the unsuspecting boy, grabbed his face and kissed him with all his might. As Brendon reacted, his hands springing up to Josh's face, the pursuing boy opened his mouth and deepened the kiss, getting Brendon to follow suit. 

Breathing between the two got real heavy real quick and soon they found themselves closer to the sofa. Josh moved his hand up and found Brendon's grey beanie that held all his hair back, showing a little hair towards his hairline, and slipped it off, letting it fall to the floor.

Brendon, although incredibly turned on by Josh's never-before-seen dominance, wasn't about to sit back and let Josh take the reigns. He pushed his tongues past Josh's and moved it around his mouth as best as he could. Brendon unzipped Josh's hooded jacket and pushed it to the floor. Brendon's grey hoodie was the next piece of clothing to make a leap of faith for the carpet below while the boy cursed under his panting. 

Brendon's nipples became hard as soon as the cold air surrounded him once his hoodie was off, and Josh saw it as an opputinity to run his thumbs over them, and as soon as he did, Brendon was biting and pulling on J's bottom lip. 

Josh grabbed Brendon's hand and put over his crotch, getting him started on palming him through the two layers in between. Josh rolled his head back and moaned. God, he hasn't been touched by someone in so long, it felt so.. fucking.. good.

“Shit..” He panted as Brendon got into a rhythm. 

“Sit down, babe. Let me take care of you.” Brendon whispered in J's ear, helping in guiding the younger boy to the seat next to the bend of the sofa. Before he sat, Brendon unbuckled Josh's pants and pulled his pants and boxers down, revealing Josh half-hard dick. 

His pants and boxers were tossed aside with the other articles of clothing as Josh sat himself down on the fabric of the sofa. He watched Brendon through narrow lids as he kneeled and pulled his shirt up over his head, revealing his smooth, vaguely tanned torso.

The boy licked his lips and looked up at Josh before setting his hands on J's knees and rubbing, making his way up his thighs, massaging all the right places in all the right ways. Brendon leaned down and let his lips kiss and suck on areas of Josh's already sensitive and severely bruised inner thighs, just adding more of his own. 

Josh's eager moan signaled to Brendon that he should quit bullshitting and get to work. His right hand grasped the base of J's shaft, pumping his length while his mouth licked and sucked the head, swirling his tongue around and moaning to give Josh the pleasure of vibration. Brendon's left hand messages areas of J's thighs before moving to fondle his balls.

“Brendon, jesus- fuck..” 

Brendon pulled off, suddenly having a bright idea. “Wait, Jay. Don't touch yourself.” 

Brendon stood up and went o his bag that he had dropped on the floor, opened it and dig out the blunt he had rolled this morning and his lighter. He lit it and took a small hit as he walked back to Josh and gave it to him. “Smoke it. it'll make everything feel a lot better, you know that.”

“No, Bre-”

“Just fucking do it, daddy.” Josh sighed but agreed as Brendon tested him using the kinky name against him. The first drag he took was cut short, his lungs not used to this anymore. He coughed just as Brendon put his mouth around the head again. He pulled away and laughed up at him, his grin bright and eyes almost shut. 

“Take it easy, babe.” Brendon went back to getting Josh completely hard as the other boy smoked what he could as fast as he could. Without warning, Brendon took in as much of Josh as he could, not leaving much of his length left once his head hit the back of his throat.

“Shit, Bren, what the fuck..” the boy being cursed at sucked until his cheeks were hollowed. His head began to life and then drop. he tried to rotate as best as he could to please Josh, whose hands found Brendon's fairly short black hair, just a little greasy from not getting a shower since two afternoons prior. His grip tightened on Bren’s locks and helped move his head up and down. His hips would buck here and there and though he couldn't help it, the boy with the dick in his mouth wasn't complaining.

“Brendon, i'm-” Before Josh could finish, Brendon pulled away and took his pants off. 

“Do NOT cum yet, Josh. I swear if you do we're going again.”

“Who the fuck said we weren't going again anyways?” 

“well, shit.” 

Brendon pulled Josh up to his feet, which elicited a curse and complaint of ‘nearly pulling his arm out of its socket’ but the older boy ignored it and aggressively, impatiently, kissed J. 

Josh got sick of this exhausting battle of the tongues and pushed Brendon down to the floor. J turned Brendon so he was kneeling and bent over the cushion of the sofa, then moved his knees, spreading them apart. Josh took a deep breath and also kneeled, grabbed Brendon's ass and spread his cheeks apart so he could lick his hole and around it, getting the boy ready. 

“Shit, Josh. Fuuuuuck..” he head rested his head on the sofa, weak at the feeling of the younger boy's tongue move in and out and explore his hot skin around. The feeling had gone and as Brendon moaned in protest, he felt a stinging clap on his ass and yelled at the sudden pain. Josh smoothed over it, however, slapped his ass without soothing the skin at least six times before Brendon slapped Josh's arm. 

“The more you do that shit theore i'll slap the fuck outta you.” Brendon didn't heed the warning and each time he attempted to stop the younger boy, Josh would only smack him harder and more without soothing. 

“God dammit, just fuck me, you prick.” Bren finally demanded from the blue haired boy. 

“Fine, little bitch. I'll give ya what you fucking asked for.” Josh went down and lubed up Brendon with his saliva and, without any warning, slammed into him as hard as he could. a string of curses left Brendon's lip as his body was shook and head snapped back. 

“Fucking happy now?” Josh grabbed the older boy's hair and began slowly moving in and out, having to realign himself each time. His thrusts began harder and faster and Brendon's moans grew louder and higher pitched. 

“I know how high your voice can get, i've heard you sing.. i wanna hear you fucking scream for me.” Brendon's chest tightened up and his moans turned into a messy mix of moans and yells, but it still wasn't what Josh wanted. So his grip on Brendon's hair tightened and pulled, his thrusts quickened and he began to moan, himself, loud and clear. 

“Fuck.. fuck fuck fuck fuck, Josh, fuck..”

“What?” Josh teased. “Can't fucking hear you, bitch.” It felt good for Josh to be able to say all this to Brendon, because he honestly still hated him. It was weird. He was doing this because he still loved Brendon, but at the same time, can't stand him.

“Josh.. Daddy.. please!” 

“There ya go.” 

Josh pulled himself out and quickly turned Brendon around so he was laying on his back on the sofa, then continued fucking him as hard as he could. Brendon reached down to stroke his cock in rhythm with Josh, who slapped the older boy's face, grabbed his jaw and mouth and slipped his middle and ring finger of his right hand in Brendon's mouth, his plump pink lips around the digits. Bren sucked on J's fingers and swirled his tongue around them, focusing on not biting down and hurting Josh as much as he was hurting Brendon. 

Josh heaved and sweat dripped from his forehead and hair onto Brendon's already sweaty chest. 

“I'm fuckin’ close.. Shit.. You're still so f..fucking tight..” Both moaned their loudest, Brendon reaching a pitch Josh hadn't quite heard yet, until they climaxed, brendon on their chest and Josh inside the tight fucker. 

Josh fell back and laid on the carpeted floor well Brendon leaned back on the sofa, his ass aching and trembling. 

“fuck..” His head leaned back and rested on the cushion. Josh reached for the tissues and began cleaning Brendon. 

“Thanks, baby.” 

Josh was too tired to fight against the affectionate pet name and just helped the older boy out. 

“Put some clothes on. Or don't. just cover up for a little bit until we're both ready for round two.”

Josh stood and picked his clothes up, tossing them into the laundry bin until he could wash them, all except his boxers, which he slipped over his skin.

“You got it, daddy.”

“Don't.” brendon only smirked at Josh's distaste for the kink.

Josh went to the kitchen and got two water bottles and a piece of cold pizza for himself. he went back out and tossed one bottle to brendon.

“You hungry?” J asked, to which Brendon shook his head.

“Not for pizza.” Josh nearly rolled his eyes, but was also intrigued as he say on the floor.

“Then what?” Brendon smirked while one of his eyebrows twitched up.

“Lay on your stomach, you'll see.” Josh obeyed, laid on his stomach with his elbows propping him up as he continued to eat the slice of pizza.

Brendon knelt behind Josh, actually straddling his thighs. His fingers reached up to his shoulder blades and ran down his back until the came to the hem of his boxers. the older boy pulled them down even though they were pulled up only minutes ago. 

Brendon licked his lips prior to scootching his legs a back and lowering his head so his face - his lips - brushed across Josh's hot skin. they came down the middle of his lower back and when his lips reached the crack of J's ass, he let his tongue out to explore the seemingly vast area of pale skin. Brendon moaned to give Josh the pleasure of vibration just above his hole, personally one his most sensitive areas. 

“Dammit, Brendon..” Josh's head hung in the space above the floor thanks to his elbows-up. He tried to move his legs, to spread them, but couldn't since brendon was still sat upon them.

Brendon noticed how much Iosh wanted to spread himself, so he finally allowed it. he could see his hole was still recovering from whenever he was with Tyler, still pretty stretched, and it hit Brendon's chest pretty hard. He didn't go back down to Josh so quickly, and when he did, he wasn't as enthusiastic as he was before, and J undoubtedly noticed. 

“Bren.. Bren, why'd you stop?” 

the older boy remained silent for a moment. “I.. i don't know..”

Josh sighed and rubbed his face with his hand. “Brendon.. Listen, i.. Maybe we can work something out.”

“What?” Josh moved slowly and turned himself as he sat up to face Brendon. 

“I know.. how you feel about me and.. we both know i can't return those feelings in full. But.. i don't know, it's stupid and selfish.”

“No, Josh, w-what?” Brendon scootched forward and put his hands on J's knees, eager to know what the boy had thought up.

“Tyler, he isn't good at sex. Frankly, he's shit. And he won't do anything unless i bottom, he won't blow me and he doesn't prep me. it really sucks - and so do i. i love him and i want to please him, but you know, i want to receive, too. i don't get that with him. But i do with you.”

brendon was getting the jist of where this was going, and honestly, it sounded pretty fucking nice to him. 

“Guess what I'm trying to say is, we can.. be.. friends with benefits.. i-if you want..”

“Christ, i mean.. hey, if that means we can be on- on talking terms, at least, im down. I just.. i want to show you i've changed, Jay. ill live without being.. with you, but at least try and see me now.” Brendon begged, holding Josh's hands, which were tense in his grasp.

with a sigh, josh shrugged tiredly. “Yeah, i'll give you a chance as a friend. Why not.” Brendon grinned and quickly kissed J's lips, then cheek, chin, jaw, neck, chest, each kiss growing lengthier and slower and more wet. Brendon was passionate. he loved Josh and this was his only way of showing it, despite the fact Josh is only in this for a good nut. 

Brendon pulled Josh towards him while scooting himself closer to close the gap between. J had a leg bent over Brendon's two while he sat on his other one. the younger boy's hands rested one on his his bent up knee and the other holding Brendon above his hip. 

Brendon couldn't help but touch Josh just about everywhere. The surface was still.. so familiar to him. Brendon remembered the little scar Josh had on his back, the moles and freckles decorating his skin, his curves, both sharp and vast. Brendon couldn't describe, with words, how much he missed Josh, how terribly his heart ached for the boy. 

Brendon knew the reality of the situation, Josh will never take him back. Josh sees colors in Tyler, and so does Tyler in Josh. What they haven't considered is how Brendon could see the colors, too. With the help of Josh, the world came alive in the heat of passion and the most quiet moments.

This wasn't going to end up good for anyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh boy


	12. teen hearts

fair warning, guys, things will be getting a lot smuttier. so much sex. gotta love it. and hope you guys like brendon urie, i'd get used to seeing him around here.

**also TW, depiction of a mild anxiety attack, choking 

 

Brendon wasn't in school the next day, so after spending some time at Tyler's practice, Josh figured he should make a trip over to Brendon's place. Brendon had given him the address and shitty directions on how to get there, for whenever Josh wanted a quickie.

Five knocks and three minutes later, a very rough looking, shirtless Brendon opened the door, his eyes squinting through the glass of his prescription lenses. A hand rested in the pockets of his sweats and the other held a half-smoked blunt. what else could be expected from Brendon?

Brendon rolled his eyes upon seeing Josh and turned, motioning Josh to follow him inside. Out of his own habit, Josh took his shoes off at the door, even though Brendon's family couldn't really give two shits about the matter.

“What're you doing here, ass-face.” Brendon's voice was deep and rough, as if he had only woken up not so long ago. 

“Just wanted to check in, see if you're all right.”

“ ‘Course i fuckin’ am, why wouldn't i?”

“Damn, Brendon, i'm just concerned. i realize i was a dick before. i'm sorry.”

“Well guess what, princess, i tried to do the same god damn thing and you want to know what i got? I got treated like shit.” He took a drag and puffed the smoke out as he leaned against the back of the sofa. “shit.. man, i-i'm sorry. i had a rough night, slept all day. i.. didn't mean to take it out on you, Jay.” 

“No, you're.. it's fine.” Josh went up and leaned against the sofa next to Brendon, arms crossed as well as his legs. Bren offered the blunt to Josh, who took it without hesitation.

“got some games if you feel like playin’ ‘em.” Josh nodded, why not. That took up most of their evening, until about 5:30 when they moved themselves upstairs because of Brendon's parents getting home. 

They sat on the floor at the bottom of the bed, cursing at the tv, repositioning themselves when finally, towards 7 o'clock, they gave up after splitting about 30 rounds of the stupid game. Brendon was laying flat on his back, one leg extended and the other bent up, his head resting in Josh's lap. Josh had sighed and tossed the controller to the side, running a hand through his unkempt hair. 

Bren looked up at Josh, a faint smile trying his lips. This is how they used to be on their good days, this is how Brendon liked to remember them. He ached to get moments like these back. Josh caught his eyes as he glanced down at the boy, and he couldn't help himself but return the smile. 

“C’mere.” Josh said and lifted his arms so Brendon could move to sit on his lap, only to come down and wrap around the boy's waist. They held eye contact for a few long moments, it was so nice, for both of them. Josh's right hand moved up Brendon's back, stopping at his neck, and lessened the space between their lips, connecting once again, despite the tensions and the so-called hate Josh held. 

“I don't get you..” Brendon's words were soft, he didn't need to be too loud for they were so close. 

“I know.. You don't have to anymore.” Brendon only sighed. Josh softly kissed him, an apologetic hint to the action. he moved his hand further down Brendon's curves until his hand covered one cheek, he grabbed and squeezed, not wanting to be too rough this time. His other hand raked through Brendon's hair from his neck and up. 

Brendon's hips began moving in various, rhythmic motions against Josh's crotch. He couldn't believe this is all happening and he's doing any of this with J, it didn't seem realistic. Just three days ago they weren't even on talking terms, now they've fucked three times in the span of twenty four hours. It doesn't make any sense to him. But he wasn't about to question it.

Josh's lips moved away and trailed down his jawline, he only started biting when he got behind Brendon's ear, one of his most sensitive spots. Brendon moaned with a smile, pure bliss compared to yesterday's series of painful positions. 

“Josh..” the boy hummed in response to hearing his name.

“what is it?” his breathing was a little off track, and he was barely breaking a sweat. Brendon held josh's face and just stared, taking his time to appreciate him in this state.

“Oh, n-nothing.” J scoffed and kissed his lips quickly, returning to his neck. small red and green marks made their appearance on the surface of his skin. each nip and the sensation of him sucking elicited a string of curses from the older boy, his voice lowering gradually.

“Josh.. Jo-” the younger boy hushed Brendon before connecting their lips. Bren whined into the kiss, wanting so bad to be touched. Josh knew what Brendon wanted, he wanted it just as much, but he didn't want the boy to beg. it wasn't going to be that kind of interaction this time. Josh meant for it to be sweet and blissful. 

J's fingers sneakily grasped the bottom of Brendon's white t-shirt and slowly brought it up to his arms. Bren lifted his arms and let his head go back so Josh could take it off and set it aside. 

The exhilaration Brendon felt from Josh's fingers tracing across his skin was indescribable. He wanted more, so much more. not just more touching or little things, he wanted more emotional feeling, he longed for Josh to return his feelings and show him and treat him right. But every time Brendon went to say those three words, he bit his cheek, closed his eyes and drifted away into whatever feeling he had at the moment. 

Josh suddenly grabbed Brendon's thighs and lifted him up as he quickly stood. Brendon grabbed at Josh's hair with a gasp, blindsided at the advances. Last time they tried this, Josh could barely hold him up for two seconds, but this time, Josh held him up for a good few minutes before he turned and laid brendon on the bed, crawling on top of him. Josh had realized his shirt and flannel were still on, so he took care of that and threw them over the side of the bed.

“Josh..” Brendon panted, his hand squeezing the boy's shoulder. Josh moaned in response, his tongue working with Bren’s nipples. 

“Josh, josh- no-”

Josh hushed the boy below him, whose chest was rising and falling rapidly, faster than he's seen before.

“Josh!” He finally jerked himself away from Brendon, concern on his face, as the older boy pushed himself up against the wall, one knee to his chest the other keeping him pressed up against the surface. His breathing was heavy and so quick, Josh could almost feel the oxygen supply shorten around them. 

“Bren? Brendon, are you okay?” Josh looked around for their shirts, handing Brendon his if he wanted to put it on. the boy just ignored the cloth and held his shoulder, elbows rested on his knees. His eyes looked glassy, he wasn't focused on the real world right now, no, he was panicking because of something else, something running rampant in his thoughts.

“Shit..” Josh knew this, it had happened to Brendon before, not quite often but enough for Josh to know how to respond. he sat next to brendon and began singing a certain little song the suffering boy had taught him before. they were both surprised J had remembered the whole thing. 

Brendon moved to snuggle up against Josh and held onto him like his life depended on it. J put his arms around him and slowly rubbed Bren’s back and arm. This situation gave Josh the chance to examine the older boy's room, the posters and instruments hung and lying about, the pictures clustered on the wall to the left of them above the desk tucked in the corner. 

All the pictures were polaroids and about half were him with family and friends and some of his dogs. The rest were of Josh, either with Brendon or just himself, the luttakes or sneak shots Brendon always took. Josh smiled. He remembered just about every one of these photos and when they were taken, what they were doing. Fuck, he really did miss Brendon. 

But he couldn't do this to Tyler. He knew he didn't see the colors in Brendon like he does in Tyler, so, naturally, it just wasn't meant to be. It still confused him, though, because Brendon could see colors when he was around Josh, so what the hell does that mean? J wanted to find out, and he wanted to know if he could possibly change, if he could almost.. learn to see the colors in brendon. If the boy had really like he's claimed, maybe J could, too.

“Bren, have you written any new songs?” Josh asked in hopes of getting Brendon's mind off whatever was distracting him. 

Brendon cleared his throat and nodded as he pulled away from Josh, sitting upright. “I mean, i'm always writing. Haven't gotten too many full songs down but a lot of just bits and ideas.”

“Mind if you show me something?” They both grew smiles and Brendon climbed off the bed. on the other side of the room he did aroun, moving coats aside from inside the small closet. he pulled out a pretty nice keyboard, and though it may be small, it sure sounded good as he played. 

Josh sat up and scooted back to give Brendon room for his keyboard. He switched it on and hit a few more switched and moved some sliders. Josh's didn't know what all that was for but he figured Brendon knew what he doing. 

“Okay uhm..” Brendon said before clearing his throat. the room had settled and they were silent, Josh watching intently as the boy hit a few soft keys. 

“oh show me your love.. your love.. give me more, but it's not enough..” he took a longer pause than usual, swallowing to hold back his aching urges to cry. “show me your love.. your love.. before the world catches up..” his voice had so much control along with heartbreaking emotion. it was so soft, even still cracked here and there. Beautiful. Brendon's voice always has been. 

“ ‘cause there's always time for second guessing, i don't wanna know. if you're gonna be the death of me that's how i want to go..” He let the key play out before letting his fingers slip off into the bed. Josh assumed, now, that he was finished and he smiled, clapping for a minute. 

“Brendon, that was amazing. i can't believe how much talent you have.” Josh took brendon's hands and kept his eyes focused on his.

“C’mon, you.. you know that's not true.”

“No way you think like that, there's something there, you've got something, Bren.”

“Josh-”

“Honestly, Brendon. you may be an ass sometimes, but that does mean you're not skilled. Get yourself out there. Make something of yourself.” 

Brendon wanted to, he wanted to be successful and make something out of himself, but still, over everything and anything else, he wanted Josh. His whole being ached for the boy sitting inches away. If he were to be successful, he'd want Josh by his side the whole time. 

As Brendon looked into Josh's eyes, which were currently brown, the older boy felt his chest ache as a few hot tears ran down his cheeks. He bit his lip before lunging forward, knocking Josh against the wall, his lips finding Josh's and making all the right moves. 

Josh, though brimming with concern, held Brendon close by his waist, his touch gentle as ever and every move being just as cautious. Once again, both Brendon and Josh's shirts were let go over either side of the bed, their pants soon following. 

There lay the two, messily making out, plain and simple, relishing in each other's embrace. Brendon felt so good laying on Josh like he was, they had never been so enraptured by each other. 

Brendon had kept repeating to himself, in his head, i love you, josh, he'd think, i love you so much. i mean it.

his heart broke and he fell in love every time his lips met Josh's skin, whenever his eyes gazed into Josh's, when Josh's fingers grazed his skin, even when they grabbed him and bruised his body. He knew his skin was thick and he was tough, but there was always a way one person could cut deep without even trying. and each time one of those wounds started healing he'd come along and give Brendon another one, ten times worse. 

Josh hooked his legs around Brendon's and managed to roll them over, so Josh was now on top. 

He was well aware of Brendon's feelings, the regret he felt and the love he's continued to have for him. It weighed heavily on his conscience at almost all times, especially in scenarios like the current one. And he knew this was wrong, for both Brendon and Tyler. neither of them deserve to be treated this way, even though Tyler doesn't know anything about this.

“Josh.. oh, god.. damn..” Josh earned these words by playing with Brendon's nipples, licking them and biting his chest and abdomen. 

“I'm barely getting started, baby.” Josh responded, reconnecting their lips, paired with a grinding motion against Brendon's whole body. 

“Fuck..” Brendon cursed when Josh stood from the bed, he saw the boy stand and rub himself through his boxers before moving to the end of the bed and grabbing his thighs, pulling him down the bed. Brendon was confused but so excited for what Josh has in mind. 

J palmed Brendon, which caused the boy to toss his head back and moan softly into his hand. The boxers were soon slipped off Brendon's legs and left to fall to the floor, just as Josh's head fell to Bren's cock. He licked up the boy's shaft, feeling the shivers it sent up the boy's spine. Brendon's hand went down and grabbed Josh's blue hair quickly, tightening on the coarse strands of his with a string of profane terms. Josh's hands spread the older boy's legs apart so he had more room for his head. J lifted the boy's rear up so his tongue could go over his hole, still recovering from the night before. 

“You gonna be okay, baby?” Josh asked. he'd hate to go ahead if it hurt Brendon, he wanted the boy to be as comfortable as possible. Bren nodded and grinned.

“What about your parents? They're home right?”

“Jay, we'll be fine. They're used to this.”

That concerned Josh, they'd never had sex with his parents home, yet they were used to it? The concern must've shown, because Brendon sat up and held J's face, their eyes connected in a gaze so indescribable. 

“Josh, i have four older siblings. They're so used to them that we wouldn't phase them.”

Josh sighed but gave a sincere smile. He leaned forward to close the gap between them once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so somehow i fuckint deleted the first chapter as i deleted the bump additions, so i had to fix that. hopefully everything's good, though i have lost those comments on that first chapter. 
> 
> so if anybody wants to, please leave a comment on that chapter - or any of them, really, it's all very well appreciated. 
> 
> working quickly on the next installment so be in the lookout, pals.


	13. yike

woa h so i see there's been some pretty negative feedback on the last update and i apologize for that but y'all it's just a story. chill. thingsll work out okay. 

love yall


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